


No One but You

by Four_Misfits



Series: Brianna May Taylor [4]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Brianna is the best mum, F/M, Family Drama, Family Fluff, Female Brian May, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Growing Family, I'm not good at tags, Live Aid, Lots of Babies, Love, Marriage, Maylor - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Roger is the cool dad, Sex, Unplanned Pregnancy, did I say sex?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2020-06-24 23:59:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19734286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Four_Misfits/pseuds/Four_Misfits
Summary: When Freddie left Queen and his family, a part of Brianna and Roger died forever.orBrianna and Roger's love for each other didn't end the moment they welcomed their second child. This is their story from Freddie's departure up to Live Aid.





	1. Rory Louisa May-Taylor

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to "No One but You", sequel to Driven By You". You may need to read that one first to understand a few things here, but basically, Brianna and Roger are together and they have the best family in the world.
> 
> Enjoy!

_Early 1982_

When Roger opened his eyes, he met his eldest son’s blue orbs staring back at him, his little hands curled into fists, holding his teddy bear tightly against his chest. 

“Daddy?”

It was a mere whisper of a voice so familiar to him – the word felt so _sweet_.

“Hey, buddy,” Roger whispered back, rubbing his eyes open. He then proceeded to leave the bed, being as careful as possible so not to wake up Brianna, sensing the source of his eldest son’s distress was something he’d better solve outside his room. “what happened?”

Jimmy bit his lip. “It’s Emily. She’s awake.”

The drummer took Jimmy into his arms and carried him outside the bedroom. Ten steps separated his room from his children’s, which were on the other side of the corridor. 

“Let’s get you into bed first.”

“I wanna help.”

Roger smiled. He took Jimmy’s hand and both went into Emily’s room. There, in the middle of the room, they found Emily lying wide awake in her cot, sucking her fist, her blue eyes staring back at her father.

“How d’you find out she was awake?”

Jimmy said nothing for a moment. He watched Roger taking his sister into his arms and cradling her gently, trying to make her fall asleep without mummy’s help.

“I came to see her. And she was awake.”

“Couldn’t sleep, buddy?”

Jimmy sat next to Roger and snuggled close to him. The drummer found it difficult to pay attention to both – It seemed Emily wasn’t hungry so he wasn’t waking Brianna up to breastfeed the baby – and Jimmy clearly needed a cuddle. 

“What’s wrong, Jimmy?”

The boy shook his head.

“Hey, buddy… hey, look at me.” Jimmy’s eyes were on his little hands. “What is it, Jimmy?”

“You and mummy don’t play with me ever. You’re with Emily all the time.”

Children don’t come to the world carrying a textbook – that would have helped lots, Roger reasoned, but as Brianna loved saying, parenting was just about as growing up. The moment their babies came into the world, they had made it crying, just as they cried when they held them in their arms for the first time. They’d taken careful steps, tripped and fell more than once – just like a child. 

Roger found parenting an act of love for the being he had made with Brianna, the love of his life, the woman he wanted to grow old with. Jimmy and Emily were his world, and most of the times he’d found himself unable to sleep at night, worrying about their wellbeing, whether it was good or not to tour with them and so on.

Roger looked down and realised Emily had fallen asleep. He quickly placed her in her cot and left the room with Jimmy. 

“It’s not like that, buddy – “

“Yes, it is!” Jimmy cried, little tears escaping his eyes. “You are with Emily all the time! And you leave me alone!”

“We don’t leave you alone, buddy. Emily’s still very little.” Roger whispered, helping little Jimmy get into his bed. The drummer took a quick glance around the room and found it a mess and made a mental note to tell the boy the following morning to clean his room. “You were just like her.”

Jimmy said nothing. The tears were still there, but being the most careful, Roger pressed a kiss to each of his cheeks and caressed his light brownish hair which was, with each haircut the boy had, missing those curls that made him resemble his mother so much. 

“We love you, buddy. Don’t think we don’t, ‘cause we do.”

“Are you gonna travel again?” Jimmy said softly, his little hands curled around the edges of his colourful comforter. “Mummy says you are and that we can’t go.”

Roger nodded. 

“Why can’t we go with you?”

“Because you’ve got school and Emily’s very little.”

“But you and mummy traveled with me. And I was little too.”

“Yeah, but it was different. We both had to travel. This time Brianna doesn’t have to.”

“Why?”

Ever since Emily was born, and since Jimmy had stopped asking about Freddie, both Brianna and Roger agreed on not telling their children anything about the band or their missing lead singer. 

So Freddie’s name, and Queen, were never mentioned again.

It had all started when Brianna was still pregnant and decided to place her guitar where she would never see it again, in the basement where they stored old things and furniture. Then, little by little, all the traces of what they used to be were gone. Records were placed in boxes and stored in the basement. Rock magazines, awards, anything that could link them to Queen, one of the greatest rock bands in the world, was gone.

The day Freddie decided to break up the band, accept four million dollars, and move to Munich – just like that, as if John, Brianna or Roger had never existed and had never been a family – a piece of Brianna and Roger died along with their family. 

Specially Brianna, who no longer spoke about music, never again hummed or sang, or told Jimmy stories of when she and Roger used to travel around the world and play music for millions in the biggest stadiums in the most wonderful places in the world.

While Roger was making it big with his band, The Cross, things were not the same. Music was not forbidden at home, but he barely said anything about his band, the songs he had come up with or his upcoming tour. 

“Bri’s staying home with you.”

“Why won’t mummy play the guitar again?”

“Buddy… it’s getting late. And you’ve got to go to nursery school tomorrow.” Roger pressed a kiss to his son’s forehead. “I’m making you pancakes in the morning.”

“Yay!”

The drummer didn’t leave his son’s room until he made sure the little four-year-old had closed his eyes and was definitely getting some sleep.

And it was outside where he met Brianna, who soon clung to him as if her life depended on him. Without saying a word, the drummer enveloped her with his arms. He soon felt her lips on his and her warm hands pulling him even closer to her. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too, love.”

“We should have another one.”

Roger frowned. “What?”

“Another baby,” Brianna said casually, pushing the drummer softly until he fell on their bed and herself on top of him, with her tights around his hips. 

Roger was surprised, but not taken aback by her advances. He was really tired and he knew he should get some sleep. He was heading to a new tour all around Europe with The Cross, he had tons of interviews, presentations, gigs in small and big places, even Top of The Pops – but he was not pushing Brianna away.

And he wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea of expanding their family. While he knew how much Brianna had always wanted a big family, all he wanted was to be the father he never had – be there for when his children needed him, teach them things, speak to them using only words of love, tell them how much he loved them. Brianna had read many books about emotional education and how important it was for children development to grow up in a loving, safe environment. 

He was not repeating his story and he was definitely not going to be someone his children feared. Roger was determined not to repeat his father’s mistakes.

“You sure?”

“Hmm,” Brianna was now naked as the day she was born, and pulling at his underwear. “I’ve stopped taking my pills.”

Roger was soon on top of her. “You’ve been planning this for a while.”

Brianna’s lips caught his. They had never discussed any plans regarding their family. But, it was obvious that now they were not touring again – at least not together – so they could have as many children as they wanted to and not worry how they would manage. They were young. They had time. They had money. They could always talk to Miami and find a way of keeping their family away from the eye of the press.

“I want another baby.”

“It hasn’t been a year since Emily was born.” 

Brianna started moving, rocking them, feeling Roger’s hard member rubbing against her core. It drove him mad, and soon Brianna had the blond begging for more. 

They had been together for almost five years and each time they made love, it felt like the first time. They had a strong connection they had never felt before with previous partners. Though the frequency of their love making decreased with a little baby and a child, the moments they had for themselves were unique and Roger always remember their first time together.

“Please, Rog.”

“Okay,” Roger kissed her deeply before sinking into her. “Let’s make a baby.”

  


…

_August 1982_

Jimmy was asked to sit on the sofa next to his sister Emily, who was wearing a pink tutu and hungrily drinking her milk with her bottle, and somehow already knew what his parents were about to tell them. 

Mummy’s stomach looked strange. When he hugged her, he felt something there, though never said anything about it. Mum sometimes said her stomach hurt when she cooked - or saw any food at all - so now there were ladies helping mummy in the house. Daddy would always touch her stomach and bring her chocolates and sweet things for her to eat. 

When daddy left for a week for work, grandpa Harold came in one day and said he could help mummy take the cot out the basement and place it in the empty room upstairs. Grandma Ruth and grandma Winifred said they were knitting little things together, and even auntie Clare came in more often, sometimes took him and Emily for a trip around the city for the entire day when mummy said she was too tired or when she said she needed to sleep.

So when mummy slept for long hours grandma Ruth came in and looked after her. 

“You’re going to have a little brother or sister.”

Daddy soon took Emily into his arms and, as he caressed mummy’s stomach, which seemed to have grown lots, he focused on explaining the little girl there was a tiny baby growing inside mummy’s tummy. 

“Jimmy, are you okay?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“Are you happy you’re going to have another brother or sister?”

“I guess.”

Brianna ran a hand through his brownish hair, his curls, those he had inherited from her, were gone now that he was four years old, but his eyes and nose still resembled Roger’s. She kissed his cheek and pulled him closer. “We love you, Jimmy. Another baby won’t change anything. Okay? D’you understand, son?”

Jimmy nodded. Things had changed the moment Emily was born. Mummy and daddy stopped travelling and taking him all around the world – or that’s as much as Jimmy could remember from the days before his sister was born. He felt left alone at the beginning, but one night his daddy assured him they loved him as much as they loved Emily – and Jimmy believed him. Emily was just too little to eat and go to the loo. So Jimmy helped sometimes.

Emily was fun. She liked playing with him and barely cried – only when she needed a change or when daddy had to go to work and sometimes didn’t come home home for long days or weeks. She could only say “mummy” and “daddy”, but Jimmy was already planning on teaching her how to say his name too. 

“I’m a big boy,” Jimmy declared once it seemed Emily had understood there was a baby inside her mummy’s tummy. “I can look after Emily when the baby’s here.”

This time, Daddy chuckled and pulled him for a hug. “Course you’re a big boy. You look after Bri and Emily when I go to work - I’m sure you’re gonna look after this baby too.”

In the following months, both Jimmy and Emily watched their mummy’s tummy grow. They had even experienced a kick – that’s what mummy said the baby did all the time. Grandma Ruth said she was surely having a boy. Mummy thought so too, but daddy said it was a girl.

Many people came to visit all the time. Uncle Deacy and auntie Ronnie visited every single weekend at home with Robert, Michael and Laura. Jimmy and Emily loved playing with their cousins while daddy and uncle Deacy were always discussing cars and mummy and auntie Ronnie cooked lots of food. Sometimes uncle Deacy helped daddy fix his cars and auntie Ronnie helped mummy prepare things for the baby. 

Daddy still left for work for a couple of days and sometimes weeks and when his grandparents or auntie Clare couldn’t visit mummy, uncle Deacy did. When he came alone, he sat with mummy in the garden and they drank tea and mummy showed him books and a books she had been writing. They spoke using long and complicated words. When Jimmy asked why they called uncle Deacy “uncle” if he wasn’t either Brianna or Roger’s brother, his mummy said uncle Deacy was like the brother she or daddy never had. 

Robert, Michael and Laura called his parents auntie Brianna and uncle Roger too. And Jimmy liked it. It was good to have so many cousins because they could play all the time. Uncle Deacy was always making them new toys and auntie Ronnie cooked the best cakes in the world.

…

_December 1982_

It was a cold morning when Jimmy woke up and found daddy helping mummy walking down the stairs. Mummy’s pyjamas were stained and she was crying, saying it hurt too much.

“Mummy?”

“Jimmy – listen to me,” Daddy rushed to him once he made sure Brianna could stand alone at the bottom of the stairs. “the baby’s coming now. I’m going to take Bri to the hospital. Clare is on her way. D’you think you can stay alone just for a few minutes and look after Emily?”

“I’M NOT LEAVING THEM ALONE! ROG!”

“But Clare’s coming now!”

“IF YOU LEAVE THEM I’M HAVING THE BABY IN YOUR FUCKING CAR!”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“WATCH ME!...Ugh! HURRY UP, ROG!”

Jimmy was trying to make Emily stop crying while daddy drove fast and mummy cried because she said this time it was hurting so so so _so much_.

They were greeted by many doctors and nurses. They assured daddy they had closed half a floor in the maternity wing and that everything would go as had been agreed.

“Great. We’re definitely not posing for pictures again like the Princess of Wales.”

“Call Miami…” Brianna breathed. “Thank him for… ugh! It hurts!”

Soon mummy was taken away, and daddy stayed with them until auntie Clare arrived. 

Auntie Clare had brought them clothes, toys and food and she said they could go out if they wanted to. Jimmy said he wanted to stay and so some people said there was a special room for them to stay for as long as they wanted to. Long hours passed by until grandpa Harold and grandma Ruth came too with grandma Winifred. 

And then, Emily ran to daddy the moment he appeared smiling widely. Jimmy ran to him too and soon noticed there were tears in daddy’s eyes. His hair was a mess and the first thing he did was to kneel and hug them tightly.

Daddy took Emily up, placed her on his hip and took Jimmy’s hand. “Let’s meet the baby.”

The room where they were taken was nice. It was warm, and as soon as they got in, they saw their mother sitting on a bed, with big pillows tucked behind her. She did not look at them immediately, but her eyes were on the little bundle in her arms. 

Mummy looked up and smiled when Roger helped Emily sit close to her and Jimmy joining them too. “Come and say hi,” Brianna whispered, cradling her baby against her chest. “This is your sister Rory.”

And so a few days before Christmas, Brianna and Roger welcomed their third child - a baby girl they named Rory Louisa May-Taylor and became a family of five.


	2. Timeless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Chris?”
> 
> “Bri? It’s you, I knew it was you,” Chris said with a wide smile, his long arms already on her waist and Brianna’s around his neck. “My God, it’s been so long!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read and gave this a chance!

_Mid July 1983_

“Jimmy, please, put on the cap.”

“I don’t like it, mummy!” Jimmy complained. “I don’t wanna wear it!”

Brianna sighed and knelt down, taking Jimmy’s cap and placing it on his top of his brownish hair. “Wear it. C’mon, Jimmy. Do it for me.” Next to him, a two-year-old Emily was pulling at her dress, trying to get her attention. Inside her pram, Rory was wide awake, looking with curious eyes the world around her, the people passing by.

Jimmy bit his lip, defeated. “Okay.”

“Let’s look for a present for daddy, shall we? You and Emily can pick something for him.”

That made Jimmy and Emily’s eyes shine. Brianna kissed their foreheads and instructed, for the millionth time, to stay close to her, to never leave her side and to cling to her dress or their sister’s pram. 

It was a sunny and warm day. To venture into the busiest streets of Central London, Brianna choose to wear things people had never seen her wearing to avoid being recognised by people or paparazzi’s. She was wearing a long yellowish dress reaching her ankles, white flats, a matching cardigan and sunglasses. Her curls were safely secured with a scrunchie on her nape and a little sunhat. 

The entire outfit made her feel stupid. She preferred jeans – trousers in general – but she was determined to survive the day in London without being recognised. 

Roger’s birthday was coming soon and she had no idea what to give him. Roger was already a difficult person to buy things for. Clothes was the obvious choice, and Brianna had her eye on a leather jacket she had seen while taking the children to the doctor’s a couple of days ago. She had also seen a pair of dark shades which were fashionable now, and a t-shirt she knew Roger would like. 

They were inside a small store, quite exclusive and Brianna had taken off her sunglasses and sunhat and immediately knew she had been recognised by the salesman. 

Those moments were always the most awkward. When people recognised who she was, Brianna noticed their eyes were always on her hair and then they began to stutter nervously. Brianna tried to make them feel at ease and avoid eye contact. That’s why she hated leaving the house.

Roger said they could not hide forever. They had had their arguments regarding where to go on holidays – or have holidays at all. Brianna always feared being recognised and exposing the children. So when the moment to choose a school for Jimmy and Emily came, they decided to send them to a place where they knew they and their privacy was guaranteed. Parents turned and looked at them every time they left and then picked up their kids. But they were respectful. 

“Here you go,” the salesman handed her the bag with the leather jacket. “Th-thanks for choosing our brand.”

Brianna gave the young man a little smile. “Thanks to you.”

“Now let’s find a place to eat,” Brianna told Emily and Jimmy, who were walking side by side next to the pram carrying her youngest, Rory. “And then we buy the shades for daddy. Remember not to leave my side. The streets are very crowded now and kids get lost easily – ”

“Brianna?”

Brianna usually didn’t turn. Actually, she never turned when she heard someone calling her name. She knew if she did, they would know it was her – Brianna May-Taylor, Queen’s leading guitarist.

Hearing her name made her regret ever leaving the house and heading into Central London with her children. The woman who helped her with the kids was ill, she wasn’t leaving the kids with her parents – not now that Rory was still very little, Emily a bit whimsical and Jimmy growing quite a curious little boy. Brianna wasn’t either asking the ladies who helped her with the house to look after the kids because as lovely as they all were, they hadn’t been hired to do that. Her sister-in-law Clare was pregnant and she wasn’t asking Deacy or Ronnie to look after her kids now that they have welcomed Joshua into the family. 

“Bri? Bri, is that you?”

It wasn’t until the voice sounded too familiar that Brianna turned and met him.

It was her ex-husband, Chris Mullen.

“Chris?”

“Bri? It’s you, I knew it was you,” Chris said with a wide smile, his long arms already on her waist and Brianna’s around his neck. “My God, it’s been so long!”

She smiled at him and for a moment she forgot they were inside a store, both in the middle of the door, the pram and the kids blocking the entrance. Brianna was deeply lost in the moment until she felt Emily clinging to her long legs. 

“Mummy, hungry!”

The voice caught Chris’ attention. His eyes were soon on the two children standing next to Brianna and the baby peacefully sleeping inside the pram. 

“Are they…?”

Brianna nodded. “They are.”

Chris knelt to meet the children. He extended his hand and soon Jimmy was taking it and shaking it just as he had been taught because both mum and dad say he should always be polite. 

“Hello, sir.”

“Hello, lad. I’m Chris.”

“I’m James Harold May-Taylor. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Chris smiled tenderly and then turned to Emily. “And who’s this beautiful lady?”

“I’m Emily Ruth May-Taylor,” Emily giggled when she felt Chris kissing her little hand.

“Nice to meet you. And who’s this baby?”

“She’s our sister,” Jimmy began.

Emily stepped forward. “She’s Rory Louisa May-Taylor.”

“Beautiful like you. Both beautiful like your mother,” Chris added. “And this lad has got a strong handshake, just like his father.” Chris smiled at Brianna. “You’ve got quite a family, Bri.”

Brianna blushed. 

“Mummy, hungry!” Emily reminded her mother they were on their way to have some lunch. “I wanna eat!”

“Come and have lunch with me. I know a place where we can go. It’s quite exclusive, no one will bother you or the kids. Oh, and they have a vegetarian menu.”

Brianna immediately accepted because finding a place to eat something healthy, vegetarian and safe for the kids was difficult. Also, there was something about Chris that intrigued her. As he led the way to the place which was only a street away from the store, Brianna noticed how little he had changed. 

There were a few grey hairs, quite imperceptible, mixing with his blonde locks. There were a few marks around his eyes and he was sporting a wedding ring. 

“She’s Catherine, my wife,” Chris said while showing Brianna a picture he kept inside his wallet. “We married three years ago. And this is my son, James.”

“Like me!”

Chris smiled to the boy. “That’s right, Jimmy.”

“We both called our first born James.”

The lawyer blushed furiously. “Well, we both like the name… back in those days.”

Brianna decided to change the topic altogether. She asked Chris all about his job and it turned out Chris had become one of the firm’s associates. Such position allowed him to work less time – but no less harder. “I supervise some cases and get my hands only on the big ones,” Chris explained, his eyes on the little baby girl Brianna was cradling in her arms and feeding with a bottle. “How’s Roger? I heard some songs on the radio. He’s good.”

“He’s on tour now. He’s doing pretty well,” Brianna smiled. She liked Roger’s solo work. The ex-drummer had great musicians working with him and they were all nice people. Brianna had met them and the guitarist confessed to her he had always been a fan and it was a honour to meet her. Brianna had blushed, she never got used to hearing people calling her ‘a genius’, ‘an amazing musician’ or a ‘source of inspiration’. “He’s coming back in a few days.”

“What about Queen? I haven’t heard a new song in a while.”

She didn’t want to, but bit her lower lip when such question was asked. Brianna had hoped Chris was not asking her anything about Queen, but of course he was. She didn’t blame him – when he met her she was a guitarist, a struggling one, trying to play as many gigs as possible and get more people to hear her music. When they married, Queen started to take off and when they divorced, she and the band were known all around the world.

They hadn’t released a new song since 1980 and the only album released a couple of months ago was a ‘greatest records’ one – an excuse to keep the band “alive” for the press, bullshit according to Roger, more money according to Miami. 

“We decided to take a break. You know, with the kids and everything.”

Chris sensed there was something Brianna was not telling him, or probably avoiding. He knew her and despite being divorced for five years, Chris knew Brianna. He had been able to tell when she was lying to him, when she was on tour and she came up with excuses so not to talk to him on the phone. 

“Right.”

They talked about everything for almost two hours. The kids sat and played with the few toys Brianna always packed in her bag while Rory slept inside her pram. Chris was right, no one at the place he had chosen bothered them, and for the first time, Brianna didn’t feel observed. She had even taken off her sunhat, her shades and freed her hair from that scrunchie. 

The end of their relationship shamed Brianna. She had never chosen to fall in love with Roger while being married to another man. Sometimes she thought about the beginning of their relationship and it was nothing to be proud of. Loving each other behind closed doors, hiding in places, lying to Chris on the phone, telling him she loved him… when she knew she was actually lying to him.

Chris paid for their lunch, even when Brianna insisted she paid for herself and her children. 

“You haven’t changed. Not even a bit, Bri. Still the beautiful woman I knew.” Outside, the lawyer kissed Brianna and stroked her hand softly. “It was amazing to see you again and meet your kids,” Chris said with a smile on the children standing next to their mother. “Hopefully one day you’ll meet my James too. And Catherine. She’s a huge fan too, you know.”

“I’d love to.”

“Say hello to Roger too.”

“I will.”

“You know our dad?” Jimmy asked, curiously. 

“Yes. A great man, your dad. You all got his eyes and nose. And your mother’s hair.”

Jimmy and Emily laughed. “Everyone says that.”

“Good bye, kiddos. Hope to see you again some day.”

“Likewise,” Jimmy said, remembering what his daddy had taught him and shook hands with his mummy’s friend. “See you again, Mr. Chris!”

Chris was now taking Brianna’s hand. “Got to head back to the office. I loved seeing you, Bri. I’ll buy your next record as soon as it comes out.”

“Thank you, Chris.”

…

_Munich_

“Mr Bad Guy” is not selling well, Mr Mercury.” The lawyer said, handing Freddie Mercury’s personal assistant Paul Prenter papers with numbers and figures and percentages. “It’s sixth in the UK charts.”

“And how about the US?” Freddie asked. 

The lawyer’s eyes were on the papers. “Didn’t get to the top 100.”

Paul turned to Freddie, who was furiously smoking and hiding himself behind his shades, inside his house in Munich. “We got a call from the BBC. They want you –”

“I’m not going back to Britain.”

“It’ll help the sales, Freddie.”

“I’m not going back.” Freddie repeated.

Paul and the lawyer exchanged looks. “We got this from Mr. Beach.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a letter updating the state of your royalties. The album reached the second place in the UK charts and third in the US.”

Freddie stood and left the room. He walked the same twenty steps that took him to his room upstairs and locked the door behind his back. There, he found the familiar white powder that made things better.

“Freddie.” It was Paul knocking his door. “Freddie! C’mon, it’s a good album.”

The singer fell on his bed the moment everything went black. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and remember there's a button that says "kuddos" - click it (haha) and let me know your thoughts!
> 
> Note: I'm changing some facts so they fit my story. For example, Freddie's "Mr Bad Guy" was actually released in 1985, not in 1983 like in this story.


	3. Don’t you hear my call though you’re many years away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hello?” Freddie froze. “Hello? Who is it?”
> 
> Back in England, in her house in Surrey, Brianna cradled baby Rory with one arm and frowned, not knowing if the person on the other end was who she thought it was. Very few people had their number. 
> 
> And one of those people was him.
> 
> “Freddie? Is it… is it you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating this sooner! Life's a bitch. 
> 
> Thanks for those who give this a chance :)
> 
> Also: I kinda had Ben Hardy as Roger Taylor in mind while writing this chapter.

_July 19th, 1983_

He never really looked at calendars – nor asked what day it was. Knowing the day was meaningless since he lived his life as he wanted to – and as he had always wanted to – doing whatever he pleased when he pleased, not having to tell anyone about his whereabouts or hiding himself from people.

Munich was providing with the privacy he needed. He was free to swim in his pool with whoever he pleased, and no neighbour would look. Journalists knew where to draw the line. Freddie knew how to play their game, and so he played. He posed for photographs every time he frequented a public place, smiled, said a thing or two and then that was it. He knew he only needed to give them something, to justify their work he guessed, to go back to their offices and show their bosses they got material and keep their jobs.

Many years ago Freddie had a job and knew what it was like – to prove your bosses you’re worthy.

But today it was a special day. He knew it was her birthday and even though he hadn’t spoken to her for more than two years, Freddie needed to hear her voice again.

It all began one afternoon, when Paul had family things to see to and left for Ireland, saying he was back the following day, maybe the next one, when Freddie unearthed a box with old records. Said box had been buried deep into the basement of his new home since the day he moved.

His hands were trembling when he put on the record and played it.

When Freddie heard her voice, he began to cry.

_Don’t you hear my call though you’re many years away_

_Don’t you hear me calling you_

_All your letters in the sand cannot heal me_

_Like your hand_

_For my life_

_Still ahead_

_Pity me_

Freddie didn’t say anything the moment his lawyers and accountants presented him with the books with numbers and figures and all the money he was getting for the release of the greatest hit album. The numbers were big.

According to his lawyer, Roger and Deacy were the ones promoting the album and going on TV, giving interviews and appearing on different magazines. They said every time one of them went on TV, their sales increased.

That was a lot of money, according to the accountants and Paul.

And the biggest slice was going straight to Freddie’s bank account and pockets.

“It’s not fair.”

“They had it coming,” Paul said carelessly, as he poured Freddie yet another drink he didn’t want. “Brianna is also getting a good slice. And she isn’t even doing anything.”

It had caught his attention that, whereas Roger and Deacy seemed to get frequent appearances on the media, Brianna wasn’t seen again since the birth of her and Roger’s second child, when they were caught by journalists and their cameras outside the hospital and they posed as if they were the Price and Princess of Wales.

Freddie went to places and all people could get from him was the image of a man who cared little for others. He moved nonchalantly, head high, his steps determined, his smile and front teeth – the ones he had been mocked and taunted for during his early years – there for people to see.

But inside, Freddie was deeply ashamed for the things he had said and done to his family.

Two years and counting, and Freddie couldn’t still believe the things he had done to them. His friends, Deacy, Roger and Brianna had always been his family – Roger and Deacy the brothers he never had, Brianna a sister he could confide in and trust with his life.

Freddie remembered watching Brianna crying in Roger’s arms from his window. He knew he had thrust a knife deep into her heart when he mocked her.

_You’d be Doctor Brianna May, author of a fascinating dissertation on the cosmos… that no one ever reads._

The singer knew he was the first person to know Brianna was dropping her doctorate, just when she was getting the best feedback from her tutors and professors to fully focus and devote her life to Queen – to them. Freddie knew he was also the only one who saw her crying because her father had told her he was disappointed in her and that ‘her little band would get nowhere’.

And many years later, he had to rub it on her face.

When the day finally came, Freddie gathered all the courage he had and dialled the number he knew very few people had, being Brianna and Roger extremely private people who, as soon as they moved in, decided to have a new landline and give it to their most trusted friends and family.

“ _’lo?_ ”

The singer said nothing. Was it… who was it? Jimmy?

He heard her voice. It was soothing. Soft.

Just as he remembered.

“ _Jimmy, who is it?_ ” It seemed the little boy was trying to say something but all Freddie could hear was loud noises and a baby crying. Did they have another child?

“Jimmy? Is it you? Is… is Brianna there?”

“ _You calling mummy for her birthday?_ ”

Freddie regretted his decision altogether and was about to hung up when he heard her voice. That voice he had longed to hear for so long.

“ _Hello?_ ” Freddie froze. “ _Hello? Who is it?_ ”

Back in England, in her house in Surrey, Brianna cradled baby Rory with one arm and frowned, not knowing if the person on the other end was who she thought it was. Very few people had their number. Only close family members and a few friends. Brianna knew that she could probably count the people who had her phone number with her ten fingers and that would be it.

And one of those people was him.

“ _Freddie? Is it… is it you?_ ”

The singer watched Paul opening the door of his room. He quickly slammed the phone, ending the call.

Some days later, when Deacy and Brianna were alone, the guitarist confided in her friend and told him all about the phone call. 

"D'you think it was him?"

"Don't know. It could be."

John said nothing for a moment. "What do you think he's doing now?"

Brianna looked at him but said nothing. 

…

_July 26 th, 1983_

Ever since Freddie’s sudden departure, the three left members, John, Brianna and Roger grew closer and closer. Roger and Brianna were godparents to John’s kids, and John was the May-Taylor kids’ grandfather too. 

The Deacons and the May-Taylors became one big family, and they got together almost every weekend for a family lunch or even holidays abroad, to places where they knew they could have the privacy they needed and where people would not take photographs of them or their kids. 

Thanks to Miami, who had also become a part of their close-knit family, there were no pictures of the Deacons or the May-Taylor kids out there. No one really knew Brianna and Roger had welcomed a third child into their family. 

So when Roger’s birthday finally came, Brianna decided to throw him a party in their vast garden which only included their family, his mother, his sister, her parents, the Deacons, Miami, the members of Roger’s band and some of their most trusted friends.

“Happy birthday, uncle Rog!” Robert, Michael and Laura said in unison as they handed Roger a colourful bag and their drawings. The three little kids – eight, five and four years old respectively – hugged their uncle and posed for auntie Brianna, who was happily taking pictures.

Laura, Deacy’s little girl, pointed at her drawing and to where she had written her name. “Here I wrote Joshua’s name. Cos he’s very little and he can’t write.”

“It’s lovely, Laura,” the blond kissed her hair. “I love it. Thank you very much.”

The kids had given him two shirts – very colourful ones, which Roger tried on immediately and declared were perfect for his new wardrobe. 

“Changing styles, Rog?”

“Well, you know me. Gotta be fashionable for my birds,” he said jokingly, winking at Brianna.

But she only rolled her eyes and said nothing as she busied herself feeding baby Rory her bottle.

“You know you’re my favourite bird, Bri.”

“Am I?”

“The one and only.”

“I really hope so.”

Roger faked a hurt expression and soon all the adults were laughing. The kids were allowed to leave their places on the table and go and play. Jimmy and Robert led the way, and behind them, Michael, Laura, and Emily were making their way upstairs to Jimmy’s room. 

“Mum says you’re gonna stay with us for a few days.”

“Yeah. Dad and mummy are travelling,” Jimmy said, his face suddenly sad. “they say we can’t go cos we’re too little.”

“But they travelled with us before.”

“What d’you mean?”

“When my dad and uncle Rog and auntie Bri were in Queen.”

“What’s Queen?” asked Emily.

Robert bit his lip. “You don’t remember?”

Jimmy shrugged.

“My dad and your parents were in a band. A rock band. And they travelled around the world!”

“I… I think my mummy plays the guitar.”

“Mummy plays the guitar?” Emily asked, genuinely amazed by this revelation. 

Jimmy nodded. “Yeah. And I think dad used to play the drums.”

“My dad plays bass,” Michael said proudly. 

“And your dad also sings. And auntie Bri too.”

“Dad can sing?” Jimmy asked.

“Course. He’s a singer. Haven’t you heard him?”

“No.”

“Are you joking?” Robert smiled. “Your parents are going on a tour. That’s why you’re staying with us.”

“But daddy is a dentist,” Jimmy argued. “He looks at our teeth.”

Robert’s smile grew wider. “Have you been to his office?”

“No.”

“See? He’s not a dentist. He’s a singer.”

The kids played all afternoon, until it was time to cut the cake. Brianna and Ronnie took lots of pictures of the kids and the babies, Rory and Joshua who were a few months old. 

Since Rory’s birth, Brianna had become a keen photographer, who loved taking snaps of their family life. So far, Roger’s favourite picture was one of him sleeping on the sofa with baby Rory in his arms and Jimmy and Emily sitting near, calmly playing together. Said picture, taken by Brianna, was hanging in one of their family walls, where they kept lots of framed pictures, and the musician also had a copy inside his wallet.

For her birthday, Roger gifted her a professional camera he’d bought abroad and had her name engraved. The first picture she took, was of him with their three children and said she was having it framed and was going to be in their room.

And so for his birthday, Brianna presented him with the picture framed and a sweet, tender kiss. The picture was in black and white and it was beautiful. Even Rory was smiling. The baby was clinging to his colourful t-shirt, Jimmy was sticking the end of one cigarette inside a nostril and Emily was looking away, laughing.

She also gave him one picture of them, taken by Jimmy, the day she was teaching him how to use the camera. They were sitting in one of their garden chairs, outside. They were looking into each other’s eyes. Roger’s strong arms were circling her waist, and she was smiling.

Looking at both pictures on his bedside table, Roger decided it was time to take their relationship further. And he wanted to do it before he embarked on a tour around the UK. This time Brianna had finally agreed on travelling with him and his band. The tour – which was not really a tour, but a series of gigs in five big cities – and set to last a week meant Brianna’s comeback to their scene, the one she left behind more than two years ago.

Brianna had only been to a handful of his shows, all of them in London, and watched him sing from a corner, hidden from everyone, where she had been assured no one would know she was there.

Now he wanted her to be in the front row, take his hands and let themselves be photographed together. Roger Taylor hated journalists, but he loved it when his pictures were on the first pages of every newspaper and magazine in the country. He knew he had what some said was ‘a particular beauty’ – thanks to his blue eyes and his dyed blond hair.

He wasn’t stupid either and saw the way fans – particularly women – looked at him. Men too, as David Bowie had assured him the night they recorded ‘Under Pressure’.

This time he wanted to go out with Brianna, show everyone the beautiful woman he had by her side every night, the mother of his children, his life.

“Let’s get married.”

They were in bed. Brianna was reading a book when Roger pressed a kiss to her shoulder and took the book off her hands. “I'm reading that.”

“ _Was_.” He tossed the book to the floor. “Let’s get married.” Roger insisted. 

“Why?”

The blond shrugged and looked slightly indignant with her answer. “I proposed when Jimmy was born. That was five years ago.”

“We’re fine like this.”

The singer frowned. “What’s wrong?”

Brianna shrugged and picked up her book. She quickly resumed her reading, and Roger didn’t know whether she was joking or not. He realised, all of a sudden, that he had never seen her like this. True, the frequency of their lovemaking had decreased with two children a six-month-old baby but Brianna had never looked so cold and distant.

“Bri? Love, what’s wrong?”

She put her book down, but didn’t meet his eyes. “I’m not going on tour with you.”

“Why not?” He asked, suddenly angry. 

“Rory’s still too little – “

“You’re not breastfeeding her anymore – you said it yourself.”

“I’m not going, Rog.”

“But you _promised_ you were this time!” The drummer sat on the bed and turned to her furiously. “You fucking promised!”

“Please, don’t start shouting – ”

“I bloody am and you’re gonna listen. I… I really need you with me, Bri.”

Brianna left her book and turned to Roger. “Rog. I’m sorry but… I’m not ready.”

“What? Have you forgotten how to play the fucking guitar?”

“ _Rog_.”

“Then what is it?”

“I… I’m not ready to face the cameras…. the journalists –”

“That’s _bullshit_.”

Brianna gestured him to be quiet. “Rog, the kids –”

“Fuck it.” The drummer tossed on their bed, giving his back to her.

Brianna silently cried herself to sleep. She had seen it coming and knew this was going to happen. She deeply regretted agreeing on going on tour with Roger and The Cross. She wasn’t even playing, but Roger said he wanted her to be with him, travel with him and stop hiding herself from the world. Brianna knew Roger needed her support and she knew she was being selfish. She wanted to take his hand, enjoy his music, be there for him.

But the guitarist wasn’t ready to face the world. Every time Roger went on TV and was asked about her, he said she was at home with the kids. This is what she wanted the day she decided to polish her Red Special, place it in its case and leave it in the basement, together with everything that reminded her of Queen and Freddie Mercury – of that life they had.

However, it seemed Roger didn’t understand her.

Brianna dreamed of playing together again, feel Deacy next to her with Roger setting the rhythm. Of course she missed it. 

She never again sang a song, nor tried playing any musical instrument. 

No matter how hard she wanted to, she wasn’t teaching her children anything music related. Jimmy and Emily were growing up being a pair of curious kids, whom she loved taking to their vast garden to teach them about plans, flowers and animals. 

There, they were learning they have to appreciate and take care of nature, animals. After a long afternoon watering Brianna’s various plants and flowers, it was always comforting to hear her children saying they wanted to do it again the following day and to listen to more of her stories about the hedgehog she had when she was a child. 

Little did Brianna and Roger knew their children were downstairs – about to discover who their parents really were.

…

“Jimmy?”

“Emmy, hush!” Jimmy pressed a finger to his lips, gesturing Emily to be quiet. “Go to your room!”

“Wanna go with you.”

Little Jimmy bit his lip. He considered his options: he could either dismiss the whole plan and go back to his room and forget anything Robert or Michael had said about his parents being rockstars – or he could take Emily with him and check by himself. 

Ever since his father’s birthday party – and Robert and Michael’s revelation that his parents were musicians, Jimmy’s world changed. 

He became suspicious every time his father insisted on taking a look at his teeth and saying ‘you’ve got a cavity in one of your premolars, buddy’, and then mummy saying she was booking an appointment with their doctor.

“Can we go to daddy’s office?” Jimmy asked.

Brianna shook her head while she fed baby Rory. “Don’t think so, Jimmy.”

“Why not?”

“Cause my schedule’s full,” Roger said with a smile and disappeared into the kitchen.

Jimmy was now truly convinced his daddy wasn’t a dentist. But he knew a lot about teeth! He even took a look at mummy’s teeth and said she was okay. Maybe he could be a doctor? Daddy also knew an awful lot of things about bones. He had even fixed mummy’s ankle that one day when she tripped on the garden and said it was nothing, that she only needed ice. 

“Okay, you can come. But you’ve got to be quiet.”

“Yes.”

“And you’ve got to promise me you won’t tell mummy,” Jimmy warned Emily. “Or daddy. D’you promise?”

Emily nodded, already too excited about embarking on what she regarded was an adventure. “Promise!”

“Okay. Let’s go.”

Using a little lantern, dug up from his big toy box, Jimmy took Emily’s little hand and led the way. The basement’s door was unlocked. But it was dark and there were lots of steps. Jimmy’s grip tightened around his sister’s little hand. Little by little, the two children descended the stairs and faced piles of boxes and bags.

“It’s dark here, Jimmy,” Emily whispered, her lips already trembling. “Why we here?”

“Shh! We’re looking for –”

They needn’t investigate much, because the first box they found was open, and the first thing they came across was a record and four faces in a dark background.

“Mummy!” Emily pointed. “And that’s daddy! Look, that’s uncle Deacy!”

Jimmy couldn’t believe it. 

Robert and Michael were right.

The more they dug, the more Jimmy couldn’t believe what he saw. Covers of magazines and records featuring his parents. His daddy had long, reddish hair. His mother’s hair also looked slightly different. And she was wearing strange clothes too!

“Who’s this, Jimmy?”

“I think it’s uncle Freddie.”

“Who’s uncle Freddie?”

Jimmy shrugged. “Dunno.”

There was a noise coming from upstairs.

Jimmy took Emily’s hand and led the way upstairs. The two children hid themselves behind a sofa and watched their father taking his leather jacket, the one hanging next to the door and the keys of his car. 

And then, there was mummy on the stairs, running after him, crying.

The children stayed there for long minutes, until the only thing they could hear was their baby sister Rory crying, and then their mother going upstairs to nurse her.

“Where’s daddy, Jimmy?”

Jimmy said nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	4. Play The Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy focuses on finding out who his parents are. Roger leaves the house. And Brianna is left to pick up the pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have a hint of what's coming in the following chapters...

_ August, 1983  _

“And… and they live... “ the little boy stammered . ”And they lived happily ever after.” Jimmy finished and looked up to meet his mother’s proud gaze. “Good, mummy?”

“Brilliant.” Brianna kissed his son’s dark blond hair and pulled him into a tight hug. “You are very clever, son.”

Jimmy’s plan had succeeded. Ever since finding those records and magazines, the boy had insisted on learning how to read and write – but mostly read – that was the first step in his plan. Being able to read what those magazines said was Jimmy’s very first goal.

The second, was to listen to the records he and Emily had found. 

During the day, and after school, Jimmy took to read everything within his reach. When Brianna was busy with baby Rory, the little boy sat in the kitchen with the ladies who helped mummy cleaning and cooking and they were happy to help the boy read. 

He knew a few letters and sounds already, and Miss Smith at school had been teaching him a few things too. Mummy one day came from the city with a bag full of books she said were for him, and wished some day were passed on to Emily, and then Rory. 

Those books had colourful pictures and simple words. That’s how Jimmy embarked on what he considered was the biggest adventure in the world. Those stories mummy read to him and his sister every night could not be compared to the one he was living right now. 

His very first goal – learning how to read and so be able to decipher what those magazines said about his mum and dad was what kept him busy every afternoon after his nap and before dinner. Every afternoon, Jimmy sat outside in the garden with his books, where the sun was warm, and where he could read to himself – or at least try to – and feel how the sounds left his mouth so easily. 

It was powerful and empowering. Mummy said she was proud of him. The day grandma Ruth and Grandpa Harold visited, they said he was just like his mummy when she was a little girl who liked reading everything about stars and planets.

It was intriguing to look at those magazines with lots and lots and lots of pictures of his parents and not being able to read more than their names. Jimmy noticed, many nights after their discovery, that his parents were always together in those pictures. Daddy always had a hand around mummy’s shoulders or waist. 

Ever since the night of their discovery, Jimmy had taken a different magazine every night and under the covers, and with the help of his lantern, he went through the pages of those old magazines with yellow pages and tons of pictures of Queen.

There were some that had caught Jimmy’s eye. There were pictures featuring his parents and uncle Deacy and uncle Freddie, the four of them all pressed tightly together, their chests bare. In all those pictures, mummy was standing behind one of them or had an arm covering her breasts. His daddy was wearing make-up and his hair looked different. Uncle Deacy also had very long hair.

Every night, when Jimmy ventured into the basement to dig up for more magazines, he observed, for long minutes, the records featuring his parents. There was one in which his parents seemed to be lying on the floor. Daddy had some locks of blond hair on mummy’s chest. There was also one with his mother sporting a pair of silly shades and a leather jacket and nothing underneath. 

That was his mummy – Jimmy could read her name – but she was not the mummy he had always known. 

The mummy Jimmy had always known wore jeans, clogs, big and baggy shirts, sometimes dresses when they went to the big city.

This woman wearing tight jeans or leather trousers, low cut tops, boots, big necklaces, and make up was not the mummy who woke him up with a kiss, told him stories about her childhood, cut his hair every now and then, played with him, read him stories, and told him she loved him while she pressed him tightly against her chest. 

But those pictures said ‘Brianna May’! That woman in revealing clothes, with big curls, make up, and almost naked was his mummy. So Jimmy changed the way he saw her. When mummy took them to the garden to water her various plants and flowers, and Jimmy asked her what she did before meeting daddy, she would always avoid the topic. 

Daddy never came back after that night in which Jimmy and Emily watched their mother crying after she had seen him leaving. When they asked mummy if they could call him, mummy said he was very busy working. 

They had never talked about it, but they saw their mother waiting for the phone to ring, staring at it, sitting next to it, waiting for a call or staring at the door, waiting for daddy who never came back for long,  _ long _ days. 

One night, Jimmy was about to go through the pages of a new magazine when he heard a sob. 

It was mummy. 

Being the most careful, he ventured into her room and found her lying on daddy’s side, the one close to the big window. His big blue orbs were able to see her back raising and falling with every quiet sob. 

“Mummy?”

It took her some seconds to turn around and turn on the lamp on her bedside. “Yes, Jimmy?” 

“When’s daddy coming home?”

“Daddy’s working, baby.”

“Is he… is he ever coming back?”

“Of course he is, Jimmy.”

“Hmm.”

“Want to stay here with me?”

Jimmy bit his lip. It had been years since he last rested on his parents’ bed. He had stopped doing it when Emily was born and they put a cot inside his parents’ bedroom. But then he remembered that his daddy had said he was a big boy and that he had to look after his mother and his sisters. “M’going back to my room.”

That night, Jimmy had been determined to start reading what those magazines had written about his parents. But instead, he put the collection of magazines back into their place in the basement and fell asleep with a heavy pain in his chest.

...

  
  


The morning after their argument, Brianna woke up alone in her room. She rubbed her eyes open and as she sat on her bed noticed the bags Roger had prepared the night before were still there. She knew for a fact that he had left to go on tour. 

Without saying good-bye. 

The week went by really slowly. Brianna divided her time between reading her old books and some magazines about Astrophysics in the mornings while her kids were at nursery and school respectively and while Rory slept and looking after her vast garden and the plants and flowers she had planted. 

At night, once she had put the kids to bed, Brianna watched Roger performing on  _ Top of the Pops _ . He was standing alone on the stage, his hair was wild, and he was wearing the leather jacket she and the kids had given him for his birthday. Brianna smiled a bit, just a bit, when she watched him doing that lip-sync she knew he had always hated so much. 

And at the end, when he was interviewed and asked about her and his family, he merely said they were okay. There wasn’t even a smile on his face. 

Roger always called when he left. Brianna loved listening to his voice, listening to him telling her all about his presentations, the fans, the presents he had bought the kids. Then, she would put Emily and Jimmy on the phone, and laugh every time they said they had been good and therefore deserved a present or chocolates. 

But this time Roger never called. 

And when she did try to reach him, he was never available. 

The day he was supposed to come back, he didn’t. They kids had made him a poster. Jimmy, who been insisting on learning how to read and write, had helped Emily write her name, and both had written Rory’s too. They insisted on helping Brianna bake a ‘welcome home’ cake and cook dinner, but Roger never came back. 

That night, Brianna didn’t sleep, but walked around the house, reflecting on what went wrong between the two of them. They had had their arguments but they were always reunited at the end of the day. At the end, they always agreed their love was more important that an argument. 

What they had was always more important than anything in the world. And what they had was an immense love for each other, for the children they had, for the life they shared and wished to share until the day they died. 

Roger had asked her, indignantly, why she wouldn’t marry him and Brianna shrugged and said they were fine the way they were but inside, the pain her divorce had caused her was still there. She was the happiest before marrying Chris, and then, things went downhill. 

She wasn’t going through the same. They were fine as they were; they had three healthy children together, a house, projects – a whole life ahead. 

Brianna never doubted her feelings, not even when she was still married to Chris and they were on tour in Tokyo. They had just arrived at the hotel, she went with Roger to his room and there she made the decision to do what she had always wanted but had just realised: love him. Ever since the first time they kissed and made love, Brianna knew Roger was the love of her life, the father of her children, the man she was growing old with and probably live with until it was her time to leave this world. 

She had thought all of this, even before asking him to kiss her and make love to her. 

And all those things had finally happened. They had three kids together. 

And yet, she didn’t know what to do.

…

Two weeks later, Roger came back. 

And the very same night he came back, he sat down with her eldest kids and hugged them tightly, closed his eyes and took in their scent – that sweet scent mixed with Brianna’s perfume – that one he had missed every night he went to sleep in one big bed alone, without her. 

It reminded him of those nights when he thought of her, when they were nothing yet, when she was married to another man and next to him was Dominique. For many nights, he thought of her, of what her lips could taste like, what her skin could feel like, what loving her would be like. 

More than five years have passed since that night in Tokyo, when Brianna, still a married woman, asked him to kiss her and make love to her, with that sweet voice she had, that voice he had loved for so many years without even realising. 

Five years and counting and he knew he could give his own life for her, give up everything he loved for her. For her and their children, for Jimmy, Emily and Rory.

They seemed to have grown lots. Jimmy looked taller and looked more like him. Emily’s hair looked blonder and her curls made her resemble her mother. They were full of energy and only stopped hugging him, clinging to him, kissing him and asking him questions when Brianna appeared carrying Rory in her arms – his baby who was eight months old – who seemed to be growing blond curly hair and had the most beautiful blue eyes he had ever seen. 

The drummer pressed a cold kiss to Brianna’s lips – a peck – and took his baby daughter in his arms. 

“Look at you,” Roger said softly, as he pressed a kiss to Rory’s head and smiled to his children. Emily clung to him while Jimmy sat across him on the coffee table and looked at him with curious eyes. “I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you too, daddy,” Emily whispered, burying her face in his neck.

Jimmy said nothing for long seconds. “I thought you left forever.”

“I’d never do that, buddy.”

“Hmm.”

“Hey. Hey buddy, what is it?”

Jimmy said nothing, but feeling those blue orbs on him – those big blue eyes Jimmy had inherited from him – caused a profound impact on him, almost a heavy pain in his chest. 

Roger looked around, looking for Brianna, but she had disappeared into the kitchen.

“Jimmy – “

“‘m going to my room.”

The singer said nothing, but suddenly realised his five-year-old had grown lots, and felt and knew more things that Roger suspected. 

It wasn’t until they had dinner, Jimmy declared he was going to bed alone, Brianna fed Rory her last bottle and put her on her cot, and Roger had put Emily to sleep that the two of them found themselves alone in their room.

“I missed you.”

Roger looked at her and then down. “I missed you too.”

“Rog, I’m sorry.”

“I know you need... time. But I really needed you next to me. I needed to take your hand before a show,” Roger sat next to her on their bed and pressed a tender kiss to her lips “And I needed you next to me every night.” Brianna nodded. “You can’t keep on hiding yourself from the world, love.” Brianna said nothing. “I’m not asking you to play your guitar again. I’m just asking you to be with me.”

“I’m sorry, Rog,” Brianna whispered, tears already escaping her eyes, as she clung to him and felt his scent, that scent she had missed for so long. “I’m so sorry.”

They kissed. First softly, tenderly. Then, they started pulling at their clothes and soon they were naked under the covers, Roger already too eager, kissing every bit of skin he knew would drive Brianna mad. 

“Can we have make-up sex now?” He almost purred.

“I suppose we can, yes.”

“Let’s make a baby,” Roger whispered to her ear as he teased her core. 

Suddenly, Brianna stopped moving under him. 

“What d’ya say?”

“I want to play again.”

“What?”

“I want to play again. I’ve… I’ve talked to Miami. Says he’s got some offers.”

Roger smiled widely, he kissed Brianna feverishly, and for a moment, he looked into her eyes and saw that old Brianna – that Brianna who loved playing her Red Special, who sang to her babies, who was passionate about music. 

“You coming back then?”

Brianna nodded. “Yes!”

“I’m so happy, love.” Roger kept on teasing her core. “So, no baby then?”

She seemed to be considering the idea for a moment, and simply smiled at him. “We can wait for a bit. Rory’s still too little.”

“Emily was Rory’s age when we started trying for another baby.”

“Yeah, but I guess I just want to give this a try. Miami said there’s an actor from EastEnders – ”

Roger stopped her with a passionate, almost violent kiss. “Don’t mention Miami when I’m about to make love to you.”

Brianna forgot all about those nights alone, about Miami’s offers and decided to love Roger again – as she had never loved him before.

…

Jimmy opened his eyes and immediately knew he wasn’t going back to sleep any time soon. He rubbed his eyes open as he took careful, silent steps to the window. The sky was pink, orange, it was the colour mummy said indicated the night was almost over and the sun was making its way to shine again.

The little boy knew his parents wouldn’t be up until late probably. It was always like that when daddy came back after long, long days away from home.

Jimmy took the three magazines he had taken from the basement and made his way downstairs to where the basement was, on tiptoes, taking careful steps, avoiding every piece of furniture, the carpets, the steps on the stairs he knew cracked until he was safely placing the magazines back into their place. 

For weeks he had only taken a look at magazines and records. He didn’t go any further into what seemed to be a vast space filled with boxes and bags and furniture. Jimmy had two reasons: the first, when he went with Emily she said she was scared because it was dark, and second… he was also a bit scared.

There were things he didn’t know what they were covered with very heavy blankets. 

The big house had always been a mystery to Jimmy. There was one room that was always locked and only daddy had the key. Not even mummy - and one day when one of the ladies who helped cleaning asked mummy about it, she asked her to go with her outside to the garden where they talked, away from Jimmy and Emily (who were growing up being a pair of very, but _very_ curious kids). 

Now the basement seemed to hide many treasures - like old toys Jimmy found and thought had gone missing. There were also clothes, a table mummy had in the living room, and now, there was something under that heavy blanket…

When Jimmy tried to pull it, very slowly, something else caught his eye.

A case covered with dust and a name engraved on it.

_ Brianna May-Taylor - Queen _

Being the most careful, Jimmy opened the case and there it was. A guitar! He remembered now! When mummy had Emily in her tummy, she told him she and grandpa Harold had made that guitar!

“Jimmy? Jimmy, what are you doing…?”

The little boy had been so absorbed, so focused on his new findings that he had never paid attention to the noises coming from upstairs, until he met his parents’ eyes on him.

And mummy started crying.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who got "the hint"...?


	5. Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim comes to Brianna with some news regarding her solo projects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting! Been terribly, terribly busy! Today's a short one but hey, we're getting closer and closer to Live Aid...

**_Late 1983_ **

“A surprise?” Brianna asked, taken aback by Miami’s sudden announcement.

She knew the lawyer turned manager had something quite unusual in mind the moment he said they had things to discuss regarding her comeback to the rock and roll scene.

For a moment she was grateful Roger had taken the kids for a stroll – the drummer had made it clear he was not interfering and wanted her to choose her own projects.

Ever since finally taking the decision of coming back to being who she was, Roger stopped asking her to join his band, go on tours with him, make an appearance and play the guitar with him on his shows.

When Brianna noticed he stopped asking, she confronted him.

“You need to choose your own projects, love.” Roger said softly as he cradled baby Rory to sleep. “You’re a musician – I’m sure there are many people who want you to play with them. Or you can start your own band.”

Brianna argued it made no sense. True, Roger didn’t need another guitarist, he was an excellent one and had one who was very talented. Then she realised what he had truly meant: she could stand on her feet on her own. She didn’t need to become a supporting musician. She could have her own band. Produce her own solo projects.

“You’re Brianna May,” Roger had once whispered to her after making love, and after arguing. “The world’s greatest guitarist.”

“Brianna _May-Taylor_.”

“I quite like the sound of it.”

Brianna smiled and kissed him. “So let’s make it real then.”

A week later they were married and threw a little party at their house. The guest list only included Roger’s mum and sister, Brianna’s parents, and Deacy and his big family. Jim Beach and a few others were also invited.

Brianna didn’t wear a dress because she said she looked silly, so she opted for a pair of white tight trousers, a blouse and a white leather jacket. Her mother said she could have worn something ‘better’ but little did Brianna care.

Roger opted for a striped suit – white and greyish – white trainers and his already famous and favourite pair of shades.

The kids wore comfy clothes and enjoyed the food, the music, and watching their parents glued to each other – as if they had always been made for each other.

Thanks to Miami the news did not get to the press until a few months later, when someone published the marriage certificate. After reading the papers, Roger and Brianna continued their routine of sharing breakfast with the children and then taking them to school.

Nothing in their lives had changed – only the fact that Brianna had decided to take Roger’s name and was known and presented in television shows as ‘Brianna May-Taylor’.

No one ever called her ‘Roger Taylor’s wife’ or ‘Queen’s guitarist’ – but Brianna May-Taylor.

And Brianna loved it.

But a wedding, a very happy afternoon with their family and closest friends ended up in Brianna and Roger knowing their family of five was soon going to become a family of six.

And now there was Brianna sitting across Miami, her manager, listening to him name all the TV shows that wanted her to go, wanted to interview her, wanted to have as a guest and so on. Jim also had a list of bands and musicians who wanted her to produce a song, an album, Elton wanted her to play something for him and even tour with him in the UK.

Brianna didn’t have the heart to tell Miami she was not taking any jobs any time soon, and probably not for the next year. The manager looked so excited and Brianna knew how committed to his job he was and how much work he had put on organising and listing all those job offers.

“And here’s the surprise.”

“Oh.”

“The BBC wants you to produce a song for EastEnders.”

“Ah, that –“

“And,” Miami interrupted her, smiling broadly. “They want you to make a special appearance.”

“What?”

Miami nodded. “They want you to produce a song for the show and the actor, sing too and they also want you in the video.”

“Why me?” Brianna snorted. “There are far prettier singers than me.”

In all the years working for them as a band and now for Brianna only as manager, Jim was already acquainted with Brianna’s conception of beauty. She had never seen herself as a ‘beautiful woman’ and it was very difficult for her to do photoshoots or even choose stagewear.

“Actually, the actor is the one who wants you.”

“Who is it?”

“Tony Dobson.”

Brianna said nothing – the fact that she was a pretty much hands-on-mum and stayed home with her kids while Roger toured, or barely left the house but to take the kids to school, to the doctor’s, or visit her parents – that didn’t mean she spent all her afternoons watching soap operas.

She was acquainted with the music world and how much it was evolving – but actors? It wasn’t her scene.

Miami insisted. “He wants you. Says won’t sing a word if you don’t produce his songs.”

“And the BBC?”

“Well, they were after other singers, but Tony Dobson says it’s you or no one.”

The BBC and EastEnders’ actor Tony Dobson had been trying to convince her for months now. Brianna wondered why such an actor would want her – and only her – to produce his upcoming songs and even star in the promotional videos.

“Jim, I…”

“Before you say no –“

“I’m expecting again.”

Miami smiled, told her he was happy for her, for Roger and the family.

“Thanks. I know I don’t need to tell you this but…”

“I’ll take care of it,” Miami smiled at her, in a fatherly way. “I’ll keep the press out. Same hospital?” Brianna nodded. “Then I’ll start working on the delivery straight on. I guess you won’t be taking any jobs.”

The guitarist nodded and hid herself behind the cup of tea. “I’m sorry.”

“No worries. Will tell the BBC. They call every day, you know.”

“They’ll find another singer.”

“Dobson is adamant it’s you or no one. They’ve been behind you for more than a year. They can wait.”

Brianna asked Jim about his family, his own children, news about the music world and so on until the manager announced he had matters to see to.

“Freddie’s lawyer called.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, just to check on the numbers.”

“Of course.”

They were literally at the door, Miami could see Roger with a laughing Emily on her back while he was pushing the pram with baby Rory inside and Jimmy kicking a ball, making their way into the vast garden and he hesitated.

He had mean to ask her for a while now, after so many years. He didn’t dare ask Roger – not because he feared him but because Miami knew how much he drummer despised Freddie. They had been the best of friends and once Freddie decided to take four million dollars and move to Germany, Roger had sworn he would one day punch him so hard it would make Freddie lose all his front teeth.

Roger’s pride wasn’t hurt by Freddie’s sudden departure.

The way he had hurt Brianna was what made Roger so resentful. And yet, Miami didn’t know how the blonde smiled every time journalists or TV presenters asked him about Freddie and when they were releasing a new album or touring the world again.

“We’re never playing with him again, Jim. If that’s what you’ve been meaning to ask.” Brianna almost whispered, her eyes on her husband and her kids. “I think if you asked John, he would say the same.”

“Mummy, mummy, mummy!” Emily ran to her mother and gave her a big hug. Her little arms were tightly pressed all around Brianna’s hips and for a moment the guitarist stumbled. “Daddy got us ice-cream! And he let me eat two!”

“Okay young lady, look at your dress,” Brianna knelt to take a proper look at the chocolate stained dress and her daughter’s face. “I think you’re all having a bath right now before dinner.”

“How’s the baby, mummy?”

“The baby’s fine,” Brianna took baby Rory into her arms and felt Roger’s lips on her cheek. “wondering why daddy didn’t bring us ice-cream.”

Jim Beach watched the scene in silence, occasionally smiling at the kids who called him Uncle Miami and were the perfect combination of both Brianna and Roger.

“Has Bri told you the news?”

“Yes. Congratulations.”

“Thanks, Miami. Staying for dinner?”

“Umm, no thanks. I was leaving, actually.”

“It could be very noisy and crowded,” Roger smiled, rubbing his eldest’s head with affection.

…

_**Early 1984** _

“Why can’t we go?” Jimmy asked for the millionth time. “Rory can walk now!”

Roger smiled to his eldest, who was trying to spin his drumsticks as he had been trying to teach him but with no success – it was clear to him and Brianna Jimmy wasn’t going to become a musician. He was far more interested in nature. Brianna had suggested that maybe Jimmy was more science oriented – a thing that he was taking after both of them with Roger having pursued dentistry and biology and Brianna astrophysics.

“Mummy’s pregnant, remember?” Brianna said softly, as she checked Roger was loading the right suitcases she had helped him pack. “I can’t take long flights. And Rory can walk, but she’s still too little.”

“You said you toured with me when I was a baby.”

“C’mon, Jimmy. You’re the man of the house now. Are you gonna look after my girls?” Roger winked at Brianna.

“’Course I will, dad.”

“That’s a good lad.”

“Gonna miss you, daddy!”

“I’m gonna miss my princess too. Remember to do everything your mummy says, okay?”

Emily nodded. Together with Jimmy, she clung to Roger as if it were the last time they were seeing him. Emily cried a bit, as her mother, who had baby Rory in her arms.

“I’m going to miss you, Rog.”

“Me too. I’ll call.”

“Okay.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, Rog.”

And Roger and his band parted to America where they were recording a video for his “Cowboys and Indians” song – a complete hit – something Brianna had already told him about and couldn’t wait to see the video on TV.

And there was Roger, getting on a plane, leaving England to the States to record a video and tour the country – a few states actually and they were little shows compared to the ones he used to have with Queen – but the US loved him and he loved them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's the blonde girl roger meets while filming the video for his song "Cowboys and Indians"? ...


	6. The Chocolate Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for those asking, the kids are:
> 
> Jimmy – 6 years old
> 
> Emily – 3 years old
> 
> Rory – 1 year and a half
> 
> Hope you enjoy it! Brace yourselves, though...

**1984**

“Can we listen this one, mummy?” Emily asked while holding Queen’s ‘A Night at the Opera’ vinyl. “We want to listen to your song.”

Brianna was sitting on a rocking chair in the living room, holding baby Rory and trying to make her fall asleep. It seemed that without her father, Rory couldn’t sleep. It was one of the things Brianna noticed when Roger left. Jimmy and Emily would become quieter and behave. They weren’t kids who threw tantrums or caused trouble, but Brianna noticed every time her husband left the two eldest would play together and never argue but rather share their toys. Jimmy liked puzzles and so he was trying to make Emily understand how to put them together.

Rory, on the other hand, could not sleep and Brianna had always a hard time trying to make her have her nap or sleep at night. The baby’s sleeping pattern would become a mess, and Brianna barely slept more than two hours straight.

The baby was about to cry again when Brianna started to sing.

_“In the year of 39 assembled here the volunteers_

_In the days when lands were few_

_Here the ship sailed out into the blue and sunny morn’_

_The sweetest sight ever seen…”_

Brianna kept on singing, softly, rocking baby Rory whose deep blue eyes were staring at her as if entranced by her sweet voice. Those eyes Brianna looked at and couldn’t help but smile because those eyes were definitely Roger’s.

_“Don’t you hear my call though you’re any years away,_

_Don’t you hear me calling you_

_Write your letters in the sand_

_For the day I take your hand_

_In the land that our grandchildren knew”_

When Brianna finished the song, Rory was sleeping in her arms, and being the most careful, she placed her inside her cot.

“What’s the song about, mummy?”

Brianna sat with Emily and Jimmy and, as her hands took the record and she looked at the cover – the design Freddie had come up with one day when he suggested they changed their name to ‘Queen’.

Memories started to come back. She told the kids the story behind her song, about a group of space travellers who went on looking for a better place to live and returned one year later only to find their most loved ones had already passed away – one year in space for them was many, many years for the people on Earth.

Brianna didn’t avoid telling the kids she was inspired to write the song after talking on the phone to the man who was her husband back then. The day she and Roger found Jimmy in the basement surrounded by boxes with their discs and magazines and even Brianna’s old guitar, the guitarist knew it was time to tell them who they really were.

It wasn’t as difficult or as hard as she had predicted or imagined. It was actually a bit funny. The moment Jimmy asked Roger if he was really a dentist, the drummer burst out laughing. He told them all about his studies, and they understood why their daddy knew so much about bones and teeth.

Then, the moment to tell them Brianna had once been married to the man they had met while shopping in the big city came when Jimmy asked why there was a picture of her with a man and it said ‘Brianna May-Mullen’.

“You’re Taylor too. Like me and Emily. Cos you and daddy are married.”

Brianna and Roger exchanged a look.

“Jimmy –“

“Remember my friend? The one we met when we went shopping for daddy?” Jimmy nodded. “Well, we were married many years ago.”

Jimmy’s eyes were on the picture in that old magazine. “But here you’re with daddy too.”

Brianna looked at the picture. It was an old one. They were in Japan. Roger had a hand on her waist. She remembered that one. It was taken the day after they had made love for the first time.

“Yes. I divorced Chris and then I fell in love with daddy.”

“But you said you’ve always been in love with daddy. Since you two first met.”

“You’re too little to understand, Jimmy,” Brianna said softly. “I’ve always loved your father, yes. But I guess I loved Chris too.”

“Okay.”

The family spent the rest of the day in the garden, where Brianna sat and watched Roger play with Emily and Jimmy while she held Rory in her arms. The kids never asked about Freddie, even when they went through old magazines together and Roger told them some stories about their time as a band.

Nor they asked about her guitar. Roger took it upstairs and placed it inside their room. Brianna had said she was dusting it off and maybe playing some day.

It had been months since that day and Brianna still hadn’t had the courage to open the case of her Red Special.

“You sing pretty, mummy,” Emily said to her.

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

…

Back in the US, Roger opened his eyes and looked at the naked figure in his arms. He felt that old, sharp pain on his head. It’d been a while since he had got that drunk to the point where the he felt his head could literally explode.

His blue eyes focused on the blonde girl in his arms and he remembered everything.

Roger had actually never forgot how it had all begun.

When he and his band The Cross embarked on this tour, he knew some British girls had been chosen to feature on his latest video for his song “Cowboys and Indians”. He had been informed the idea was to have them backing him with vocals and that’d be it. Something about making it appealing and fashionable was also discussed.

Roger had always been pretty much involved when it came to videos, but he had trusted his manager and producers when they said they could handle it so he could focus on his family.

So after the first gig, Roger decided to go to a bar with the crew.

And that was the place where she had shown up and asked to meet him. Crystal said she was the Cadbury girl when he introduced them. Roger had already drunk some beers and was by no means drunk.

He had met lots of girls during his tours. It was always ‘could you please sign my shirt’ or ‘could I have a picture with you, please? I’m a huge fan!’. The drummer always said yes – he was grateful to his fans. There were a few who thought they could make their way into his bed, but Roger’s days as a womaniser had ended years ago.

Something about this particular girl – the Cadbury girl – caught his eye.

She was tall, but slightly shorter than him. She had short blond hair and green eyes and the way she moved her hips when she walked or the way she kissed his cheek when they were introduced entranced him.

“I’m Debbie,” she purred and kissed his cheek in a seductive way.

Then, Roger remembered Crystal patting his back and leaving them alone. The bar wasn’t crowded and the drummer knew he could go unnoticed. They were sitting together at the booth, drinks coming and going so fast and then she was on his lap, kissing him feverishly.

The drummer remembered taking the girl to the back of the bar, then asking Crystal for the keys of his car and driving to his hotel. As soon as they were inside his room, Roger and Debbie were in no time naked on his bed.

Debbie drove him crazy that night.

She was eighteen or twenty – that Roger couldn’t remember.

“So I hear you’re married.”

“Hmm.”

“Where is she?” Debbie asked while sipping the last of her drink.

“Home –“ He was about to say ‘with the kids’ but something stopped him.

It was Debbie’s hand on his thigh, dangerously near his crotch.

“I have a big poster of you on my wall back home,” she purred and then that was it. “watching you play the drums always made me horny.”

The morning after, while showering, Roger felt a sharp pain across the chest. He ignored it, but did not reject Debbie the moment she got into the shower with him and started kissing him again.

Back in England, Brianna was alone in the basement trying to take the old cot her children had slept in upstairs when she felt a sharp pain on her lower abdomen.

And a nasty journalist from The Sun was getting a phone call from America.

…

The morning the newspapers were delivered to the May-Taylor house, Brianna asked the woman who helped her looking after the kid to take them to school. She had woken up with a headache and felt she could not have breakfast.

Brianna was almost three months pregnant and she was slightly worried because she had stopped having morning sickness some weeks ago. She was also experiencing some cramps and pain coming and going ever since yesterday. It was a dull pain she believed was muscular. She had never experienced such symptoms after reaching the third month and decided to visit her doctor in the afternoon.

When she made her way to the kitchen, she made herself a cup of tea with some sugar and sat down with the papers. She had always read them in the morning while having breakfast – a habit she had taken from her father.

She wondered why Roger insisted on having The Sun delivered – she reasoned it was to read nasty things about the politicians he hated. Or probably because there was, every once in a while, a picture of Freddie partying in Munich. Brianna never made a comment on those articles, but she knew Roger secretly read them.

Brianna was going to skip it when something on the cover caught her eye:

_“On today’s ‘Guess Who’: chocolate girl and blond drummer on page 6!”_

Her heart started racing. Something was telling her not to read it.

Don’t read it.

Don’t read it.

Don’t read it.

Don’t read it.

Don’t read it.

And she did.

_‘We hear from a very good authority that certain blond drummer of Her Majesty’s band, currently in America promoting his latest solo project, was seen racing to his hotel room in the company of the chocolate girl. And they are loud!’_

And next to the text there was a picture of a large Q with a crown on top and a Cadbury chocolate bar.

Brianna’s hands were shaking the moment she took the phone.

The phone rang five times. She waited.

Someone picked up the phone but said nothing.

“Rog?”

“Not available at the moment.”

“Who’s this?”

On the other side, Debbie smiled to herself. She turned her head and saw Roger was still in the shower. “Debbie. Are you his wife?”

Brianna hung up. She slammed down the phone and felt her heart breaking.

…

“And why there’s no baby anymore?” Emily asked innocently.

Grandma Ruth was looking after the little girl and baby Rory. Grandpa Harold had taken Jimmy to the clinic’s canteen to get some food. John was the only one inside Brianna’s room and as far as Ruth knew, Jim Beach was on his way.

“Because the baby died.”

“Why?”

“Sometimes… sometimes babies die inside their mummies’ tummies,” grandma Ruth explained the 4-year-old girl with some tears in her eyes.

“Why?”

“I don’t know, Emily.”

Inside the room, Brianna was staring blankly at the window. John was sitting next to her bed together with Ronnie.

John and Ronnie were like the siblings Brianna didn’t have. They were two of her closest friends and the only ones Brianna needed to see at the moment.

“I’m sorry, Bri.” John began. “We can take the kids with us for a couple of days so you can rest. Your parents say you’re staying with them.”

Brianna said nothing for a moment and it broke John’s heart. There was Brianna again in a hospital bed, not resting because she had just given birth, but broken, alone, picking up the pieces of her heart.

It came to him. Again, she was in a hospital hurt. Because the man who said he loved her had broken her heart.

John and Ronnie had read the papers that morning. He didn’t believe it until he got a phonecall from Ruth May. 

“I thought he would never do this to me.” Brianna whispered.

Ronnie left John and Brianna alone, saying she was calling home and asking the ladies helping her with the house to prepare the guest room for the May-Taylor kids.

“I’m sorry, Bri.”

The guitarist sat on the bed and gestured John to sit next to her. As soon as he complied, she broke in tears and buried her face into his chest. John enveloped her as tightly as he could, as if it could protect her from the pain. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda hate this chapter. First because I didn't want to make Roger a cheater. We don't know how he began his relationship with Debbie Leng - but I figured "He was a womaniser (in my fic) and he cheated on Dom - and Brianna knew it - so it's a kind of 'going back to the bad stuff' now that he's touring again" 
> 
> Anyway, don't kill me. Remember this still has got a happy ending. 
> 
> I kind of feel I'll regret posting this chapter :)


	7. Believe in Love Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our favourite couple decide to give love a second chance.

_**Mid 1984** _

“And this little one here, the blue one,” Brianna said softly, as she pointed at the book on her lap with one hand and pulled her daughter closer to her with the other. “it’s called Pluto.”

“Is it far?”

Brianna smiled to her daughter, who was going through a ‘fascinated by all things related to stars and planets’ phase. “Very, very, _very_ far.”

“Is it like your song?”

“Sort of.” The guitarist left her spot next to her daughter on her bed and kissed her blonde locks. “Before I go, let’s revise the names, shall we?”

Emily nodded enthusiastically. “Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto.”

“Excellent. You’re brilliant, Emily.” Brianna placed the book back into the little bookcase next to Emily’s bed. Then, she knelt next to her and looked into her blue orbs. “I love you.”

“I love you too, mummy.”

“Good night.”

“Nighty, nighty, mummy.”

When Brianna turned, she found Roger on the doorway. The drummer had bags under his eyes. There were new lines around his eyes and on his forehead. He had lost weight recently too. He had stopped dying his hair and now it looked strange. Brianna soon realised she had stopped looking at him long enough to notice these new marks time was leaving on her husband.

She left the room without sparing him a glance.

Roger stood there, looking absently at his daughter’s sleeping form on her tiny bed, surrounded by teddy bears, books about planets and under those shiny stars he had glued for her when she was just a baby inside Brianna.

Not having the courage to go to his room just yet, the drummer went to his son’s room. There, Jimmy was sleeping facing the door. Taking careful steps, Roger knelt next to him and observed his eldest.

Jimmy looked so much like Brianna. He had the same eyes, the same nose, the same lips and even the same dark hair. His curls were long gone and his hair darkened.

Roger remembered the day Jimmy was born. He cried the moment he saw Brianna breastfeeding him for the first time.

_‘I promised you, remember? I promised you we were having this baby.’_

And they did.

And then Emily and Rory were born. He was a father. He loved them and cherished every moment he shared with them. Watching them playing together – Jimmy always teaching Emily new things and Emily being so protective of her little sister Rory made Roger proud.

The three of them were so sweet, so obedient, so clever. All this was thanks to their mother. Brianna was a very hands-on mum and was always there to make herself sure the kids felt safe, secure and had the best upbringing.

Roger knew he had also played a role as a father, but every time he watched Brianna and the kids in their vast garden looking after her countless flowers and plants, it was clear they were closer to her. Jimmy followed her everywhere. Emily and Rory were always clinging to her – literally – and Rory would never leave Brianna’s side but only when it was time to go to bed, when the only one who could make her fall asleep was the drummer and the lullabies he sung to her.

It'd been months without sharing his room with Brianna.

That night the drummer knew he had to face it. 

When he opened the door, he found his wife on their bed, closing a book and about to turn off the light of her lamp. Before he could say anything, she looked at him with inquisitive eyes, as if questioning his presence.

“Bri, we need to talk.”

“Talk?” Brianna asked, sarcastically. “So you _want_ to talk now?”

The drummer felt the tears in his eyes. “Bri, I’m sorry.”

The guitarist closed her eyes and one tear escaped her eyes. She had heard him say those same words over and over for months now. Every time Roger apologised, Brianna felt her legs go weak, her breathing strained, and her heart breaking a little.

“It hurts me, Bri.”

“What hurts you? The baby I lost?” Brianna asked, already crying. “Or sleeping with that girl?”

“Both.”

“It didn’t hurt you while you were fucking her, did it?”

“I didn’t know.”

“Oh, so you _had_ to know? Was I supposed to tell you I’d lost our baby for you to stop fucking her?”

“Bri –“

“Why are you here?” Brianna asked him. “Why aren’t you with her? If you liked her so much to fuck her for two weeks, why are you still here?” When Roger said nothing, the guitarist exploded. “Two weeks, Roger. _Two weeks_.”

“I need you to… I need you to be honest, Rog.”

The drummer’s eyes were red with tears.

“Did you stop whatever you had with her only because I’d lost the baby?”

“No, of course not!” Roger trying to reach for her, but Brianna had already left their bed. “Bri, I’m being honest. I ended it before coming back.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you!”

“Liar.”

“What?”

Brianna’s eyes finally betrayed her. The tears flooded, clouding her sight. She ran a hand through her hair and found more and more strands missing. Since the miscarriage she had lost weight. She now wore baggy clothes to hide her body and barely left the house. She had dark circles under her eyes and felt weak most of the times.

Her doctors had advised her to focus on her health, see a therapist maybe. But Brianna decided to focus on her children, the ones she considered were her rock, her source of strength. They were the only ones who gave her the strength she needed to live, because ever since losing her baby and knowing her husband had betrayed her, Brianna had contemplated suicide.

A thought she would keep buried deep inside her heart.

During her moments of solitude, when the kids were at school or Roger away from her, she reflected on her life and how she had failed at so many things and had disappointed so many people.

She had failed and disappointed her parents when she chose music over astrophysics and when she divorced Chris. She had failed as a woman – not being able to protect the baby she had lost many years ago and now this one, who died inside her because of her fault. The doctors had advised her to take things easy and she had to take the cot out the basement alone. It could have waited, but she wanted to do it alone. She thought she was strong, but the only thing she did was to kill her own baby.

She felt Roger going away with another woman – who was younger, who was so beautiful and surely better than her – she felt it was her fault. Brianna had spent many hours going through the life she was sharing with Roger looking for details, for things she had done or not to lose her husband like that.

And she found nothing. But she knew it was her fault. Brianna believed there was something wrong with her. Tim had left her, Freddie had left, and now Roger too.

“You stopped fucking her because the tour was coming to an end – not because you love me.” Brianna whispered.

“Brianna, I swear on our kids! Why can’t you believe me?”

“Because you betrayed me. You hurt me. You don’t betray or hurt the people you love.”

“You betrayed Chris.”

It felt like a knife sinking deep into her heart.

“What I did was the same thing you did to Chris,” The drummer spat angrily. “You wanted him to forgive you. So why can’t you forgive me? I betrayed you – yes. But I’m sorry. I swear on our kids I’m sorry. I was stupid. I don’t know why I did it. I wasn’t even drunk.” Roger’s tone softened. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, please forgive me. _Please_.”

For a moment neither said a word. Brianna sat on the edge of their bed and covered her face with both hands. She sobbed heavily. She thought about Chris and she knew Roger was right. What he did was the same thing she did many years ago. She had hurt him too.

But it wasn’t a reason to forgive Roger. She wasn’t doing it just because she had done it too.

Soon, the guitarist felt Roger sitting next to her and taking her into his arms. Brianna let him embrace her, and both cried together for long minutes. When she felt his warm embrace, his soft breathing, his calloused hands taking hers, Brianna felt something inside.

“I’m sorry you lost the baby.” Roger mumbled between sobs. “It hurts me too, Bri. Please, believe me. It hurts me. It hurts me _so much_. Please.”

That was the moment she knew it.

When Brianna broke their embrace, Roger looked at her expectantly. There was hope behind his eyes. He knew two things could happen: one, Brianna could finally forgive him and they could be the family they used to be – or two, she could ask him to leave forever.

“Don’t ever leave me,” Brianna finally whispered, leaning closer to him. “please, promise me you won’t leave like the rest."

"I won't. I can't... I can't live without you. I'm sorry, Bri. I'm so sorry."

"I forgive you, Rog." The guitarist finally said. "I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but promise me you won’t leave me and the kids.”

“Nothing’s wrong with you.”

“Please, Rog. Debbie is far better than me –“

“Bri –“

“She’s beautiful,” Brianna began. “God, she’s half my age. _Of course_ you liked her.”

“You’re perfect, Bri.” Roger said as he held her face with both hands and looked at her eyes. “God, I love you. I always have. Always will. I won’t promise you anything.” Brianna panicked when she heard those words, but soon he was kissing her. “I _swear_ to you, on our kids, that I’ll never leave you.”

Then, Brianna felt his hand on her stomach. “We’ll try again.”

“We can’t. I’ll kill it.”

“You didn’t kill this baby. It just happened. It wasn’t your fault. You hear me?”

She nodded.

“Say it.”

“It wasn’t my fault.”

“We’ll be parents again. And again. I promise.”

“Okay.”

“I promise you, love,” Roger whispered to her as she fell into his arms. “I promise you we’ll have more.”

That night Brianna and Roger slept in each other’s arms, in peace, for the first time in months.

…

Many nights afterwards they tried for a baby that would not come.

It frustrated her. Every time they tried for a baby, she was pregnant in less than two months. This time, she could not conceive.

“Negative.” Said Brianna, clearly frustrated, throwing into the bin yet another pregnancy test.

“It’ll come soon.”

Brianna leaned backwards, feeling Roger standing behind her, his strong arms around her waist, his lips already on her neck. “Maybe I can’t conceive anymore.”

“Are you giving up?”

“I’m not that young anymore, Rog.”

“You’re thirty-seven.”

“Exactly!”

“Excuses,” The drummer whispered into her neck as his hands ventured inside her jeans and inside her shirt. “You’re wearing too many clothes.”

“Rog…”

“C’mon,” Roger turned he to kiss him. “Let’s make a baby.”

Brianna kissed him and let him undress her. But it wasn’t until they were in bed that Roger pulled Brianna into a tight embrace and looked into her eyes.

Every time Roger looked at her like that, Brianna felt her legs wobbling and herself melting. 

“Let’s stop this ‘let’s have sex to have a baby’ thing,” The drummer said softly. “Let’s just love ourselves. Okay?”

Brianna nodded. “Okay.”

“And if we happen to actually make one… which will surely happen… everything is going to be fine.”

“Okay.”

“And if we can’t conceive anymore… everything is going to be fine too. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Bri?”

The guitarist smiled at him. “I love you, Rog. You’re the love of my life.”

“I’ll always love you. I swear.”

“C’mon, Rog,” Brianna said seductively, feeling his already hard member. “are you making love to me or not?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So next chapter we'll finally getting into 1985... Live Aid is coming soon! How do you imagine John, Roger and Brianna's meeting with Freddie after so many years and after all the things that had happened? 
> 
> So! You must have guessed a baby could probably be on the way... I'm thinking on one of Roger's kids, the one who is a drummer... any guesses? :)


	8. A Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bob Geldof contacts the May-Taylors.

**_Early 1985_ **

****

Brianna closed her eyes the moment she felt Roger’s warm arms tighten around her and took a deep breath. She felt the blond’s scent – that scent she loved so much and knew she couldn’t live without.

The drummer occasionally kissed her temple, her nose, her lips. His arms tightened around her frame, and his hands caressed her back, softly.

They remained waiting in silence together on their bed, under the heavy comforters that kept them warm during the cold nights of early February.

The house was nothing but darkness and silence. The children had gone to their beds long hours ago – even Rory, who had happily embraced her parents’ decision of taking her crib away and replacing it for a bed inside Emily’s room. The two little girls were extremely close, so both Brianna and Roger were the happiest the moment Emily suggested Rory slept in her room and not alone.

“I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“S’alright.”

“I could’ve done it alone.”

“S’alright, love,” Roger cut her off with a chaste kiss. “How you feeling?”

Brianna let out a quiet sigh. “A bit tired.”

“You’ve running after the kids all day. If you’re pregnant –“

“I don’t think I am,” Brianna cut him off with a kiss. “They’re growing up too fast.” She said, after a moment of silence.

Roger chuckled. They fell into silence once again. It was during those moments they shared alone, when there were no energetic children running from one place to the other, or phone calls from their managers or their lawyers or the accountants – it was during those moments when they were alone that Roger reflected on their relationship, the day they met, their growing friendship, their first kiss, the first time they made love.

The blond had never believed in love at first sight – or ‘the one’ for life. He liked women – _loved_ women and always felt his heart would never belong to one woman alone. It was during one of his first gigs with Smile that three of his girlfriends showed up and he didn’t know what to do. One of them slapped him. The other two didn’t find out.

But now, looking back to that morning at Imperial fifteen years ago, Roger knew it. He didn’t know it at that time, but that morning at Imperial he was meeting the love of his life. The woman he was marrying, having children with and growing old with. He didn’t know it yet, but Brianna would be so powerful in his life that with only a squeeze of her hand, he would feel strong again when health failed him.

He didn’t know it – they didn’t know it _yet_ – but their love – despite being challenged so many times – would last for many, many years. Roger did realise Brianna had always been ‘the one’ – but he still yet had to see all the things life still had in store for them.

“It’s time.”

“I don’t want to see it.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to disappoint you.” Brianna whispered.

Roger lifted her chin so their eyes would meet. “Hey, don’t say that. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

“You’re not leaving, are you?”

Such question was a remainder of an episode that would haunt them forever. It was a fresh wound in Roger and Brianna’s relationship – a wound hat would never really heal – a wound that would be opened many times in the future by the press and even that girl Roger shared a bed with while touring the US.

It was something a man from their past would hang on to very soon.

Such question was also a remainder of Roger’s ability to hurt Brianna. Because they had never talked about it again – but Roger found himself thinking about it, and he still couldn’t forgive himself for the things he had done. True, Brianna didn’t lose the baby because of his affair, but she had to go through that alone because of it.

The real reason behind the miscarriage was a failure in her womb. But the fact that she had to go through it alone, and that she chose not to tell him until he came back hurt Roger. When he found out, it was through her, when he drove home and found her alone in the back garden, looking after her various plants and flowers and the kids were staying at Deacy’s.

Roger didn’t know The Sun had published it. So when he arrived, he had flowers and presents for Brianna and the kids and there she was, so pale, so thin, asking him to sit down with her because she wanted to talk to him.

“Where are the kids?” Roger asked, his blue orbs on Brianna’s pale face. Her hair looked unkempt, her dark curls a mess. She had dark circles under her eyes and was wearing a thick cardigan despite being summer, as if she was cold. “Bri? Love, what’s going on?”

For a moment Roger thought it was her father. Harold May’s health was declining and he had been told to take care of his health and stop smoking – something Roger, a smoker himself, knew he was not going to do any time soon.

“I had a miscarriage.” Roger’s smile faded. He extended his arm on the table to take her hand, but Brianna leaned backwards on her chair, distancing herself from him.

“When?”

“Two weeks ago.”

“Why didn’t you call? I could’ve come –“

“ _You_ could’ve called,” Brianna interrupted him, her voice heavy and angry. “but I guess you were too busy fucking _Debbie Leng_.”

Brianna’s eyes were not on him, but on the vast garden they had, the one that was nothing but only grass when Roger bought the house. It had taken Brianna some years to grow all the plans and flowers they had now and that she liked looking after with her kids. They had no gardener – there was only a man who came every now and then to cut the grass. Its beauty was product of Brianna’s effort.

She had told him, when the first flowers and plants flourished, that she wanted their garden to grow and flourish like their relationship. She had said she wanted every flower to reflect the love she had for him.

And now they had the most beautiful garden Roger had ever seen.

“Bri –“

“Don’t bother, Rog.” Brianna cut him off sharply. She stood up to go inside but turned before crossing the door. “I thought you’d never do this to me. But you did. You broke this family, Roger.”

That day Roger thought her life had ended forever. It broke him to share day after day with Brianna and the kids and not being able to feel her eyes on him, or her touch, or her sweet voice. Brianna only talked to him in front of the kids but asked him to sleep somewhere else because she felt she could no longer share a bed with him.

It had taken them some months to sit down and talk about it. But they overcame the first of the many challenges their relationship would have. Brianna forgave him and Roger was determined to heal her – to heal them.

And now they were about to know if they were having another baby or not – a baby they had tried for long months.

Roger was aware of Brianna’s efforts. He knew she had gone to see some doctors and had even contemplated eating meat again. For every negative test, Roger knew a part of Brianna was breaking. And while she wasn’t voicing her fears, her pain, those suicidal thoughts the drummer knew she had once, Roger was there to hold her hand and tell her she was his world, that everything was going to be fine.

“I’m here, love. I’m here,” He kissed her softly. “Bri, love. Love, why you crying?”

“What if I’m not pregnant?”

“We have three little rascals,” The drummer whispered and watched Brianna smiling a bit. “An intelligent boy, just like his mother. And the two most beautiful daughters – beautiful like their mother too.”

“I want a baby. But I’m tired of trying and not… I’m not young anymore.”

“First,” Roger began, releasing her from his arms and standing up. “Maybe it’s me. Secondly,” He took her hand and led the way to their ensuite bathroom. “You’re _thirty-seven_. You’re young. Also,” He opened the door. “If you’re tired, we can stop trying and everything’s going to be fine. Okay?”

“But –“

“It’s your body, love. You’re tired. I know it. So if this test’s negative, we’ll forget everything about all that sex – which was amazing, obviously,” Brianna giggled. “and we can stop trying. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

The two of them looked at the test. Brianna cried in Roger’s arms. It had been long weeks and months waiting for a baby which seemed didn’t want to come.

Secretly, Brianna had appointments with several doctors and she was declared a very healthy and fertile woman. So she couldn’t understand why that baby they were trying for so hard wouldn’t come.

Until it did.

“I’m pregnant.”

“You are,” Roger kissed her deeply and led the way back to their bed, where he held her in his arms once again and “I told you, didn’t I.”

“I’ve got to be careful – “

“We’re having this baby.”

“We’re having this baby, Rog. I promise you.”

“You don’t have to promise me anything, love.” Roger kissed her lips and looked into her eyes. “We’re having this baby. I know it.”

…

“D’you know my mummy’s got a baby in her tummy?”

Bob smiled to the little curly girl sitting next to him. “Yes, I do. Your papa just told me.”

Brianna excused herself and took Emily and Rory to their room, where they were supposed to have their naps after lunch.

“You got quite a family, Rog.” Bob commented with a genuine smile as he sipped more of his wine. “Who would’ve thought, huh?”

Roger had started hating such comments. True, he had been a womaniser, a casanova, use the word you like, but now he was a family man. He had a wife, three kids, a baby coming in a few months, he was proud and grateful for the things he had.

“So, tell me. What’s on? You wouldn’t have come here just to lunch.”

“Oh, c’mon, don’t say that mate.”

“We could’ve met in a pub.”

“Wanted to see the family.”

Roger smiled.

“What’s with Queen?

Ah, Roger knew it. He knew Bob was going to ask him. And he also knew that Bob had been waiting for Brianna to leave them alone to ask such question.

“Taking a break.”

“You haven’t played together in years.”

“Just told you, Bob. Taking a break.”

Bob knew something was happening. Everyone in the industry knew everything, but Queen was a mystery – even to those who were closer to them. Bob had approached Jagger, Bowie, The Who, all of them had agreed to participate in his upcoming project, but when it came to Queen, the only ones available were the May-Taylors. He had tried contacting John Deacon but he wouldn’t answer his calls and Jim Beach said he was on holidays with the family and wished not to be contacted. Freddie Mercury was a mystery as well. Bob had got hold of his assistant’s phone, but he never picked up the phone or always said Freddie wasn’t available.

Having been friends for years, Bob knew when Roger hid something, or when Brianna avoided questions – he could see that when they went on TV and they were asked about Queen. Both smiled and said they were taking a break since they wanted to focus on their families.

Bob could also detect the false smile they all gave when they were asked about Freddie or received an award in Queen’s name.

“I’m putting some bands together.” Bob looked at Roger and decided to keep on talking before the drummer could say anything. “It’s for a good cause.”

“We make big donations with Brianna.”

“I’m not asking you to give money. I want you to play for free.”

“A series of concerts?”

“A big concert,” bob said with a smile. “I’ve got some people working on this in the States. Two simultaneous concerts. JFK in Philadelphia and Wembley in London.”

“Sounds good.”

“Jagger and Bowie are on.”

Roger said nothing for a moment.

“I want Queen too.”

…

**_April 1985_ **

“Are you playing, mummy?”

“I don’t think so, Emily.” Brianna smiled to her daughter. She watched lovingly how her daughter, being the most careful, helped her wiping the dust of the neck of her guitar. “Just dusting it off.”

“Why you don’t wanna play?”

Jimmy had asked the same questions before. Brianna was running out of excuses, really. She had even got to the point where she cut her nails as short as possible so she wouldn’t be able to play.

Brianna knew her nails were no real impediment. Her sixpence, that coin given to her by her father many, many years ago when they finished building her guitar was hidden inside a drawer.

“My nails are too short.”

“Daddy says you can play with a thingy.”

“It’s a sixpence,” Brianna said, as she took the coin from her pocket. “Look. My father gave it to me the day we finished making this guitar.” She smiled when Emily took it, examined it and the gave it back. “I’ve had it ever since.”

“Wow!”

“See? You’ve got to take care of your things.”

“Play for me, mummy!”

“I can’t, Emily. Sorry.”

“Why?”

“Because the noise can hurt the baby in my tummy,” the guitarist replied, her eyes on her polished Red Special. “Remember mummy’s got a baby in her tummy?” Emily nodded, her eyes on her mother’s still flat stomach. “Well, this guitar produces a special noise. And it can hurt the baby. And we don’t want that, do we?”

“No.”

“Maybe after the baby’s born.”

“Okay.”

“C’mon, princess. Time to wash your hands. Dinner’s almost ready.” Roger kissed Emily’s blond locks. “Take Rory too.”

Emily took Rory’s hand and being the most careful, she led the way to the kitchen, where one of the ladies who helped them with the house was there waiting for them. Roger then watched Brianna place her shiny guitar back into the case.

The case which had her name and ‘Queen’ printed on it.

“The other day dad asked about my guitar,” Brianna said, feeling those blue eyes on her. She ran a hand over her name printed on the case. “He’s making a little one for the baby.”

“Is he?”

“Yeah. Says this one’s going to be a musician.”

“Sure he will.”

“He?”

“Course, love!” Roger kissed her neck. “We should think of names.”

Brianna’s smile faded. “I think we should wait.”

“You’re three months pregnant.”

“But… just in case, you know.”

Roger took her hand and changed the topic. During dinner he helped Rory eat and listened Brianna asking Jimmy and Emily how they did at school. Jimmy was deeply interested in plants and flowers – something Roger knew he had taken from his mother. Rory was no longer interested in planets but on animals – something Roger was helping her with. He had unearthed a few boxes with his old books from his college days and was trying to help her learn some facts about wild animals.

“My favourite animal is the tiger!” Emily declared while telling her mother all about tigers – all the things that her daddy had been teaching her. “They are super strong! D’you know that tigers can swim?”

“Can they?” Brianna asked, interested. “That’s amazing, Em.”

“How you gonna call the baby, mummy?”

Brianna helped her daughter get into bed. She caressed her blond locks and looked into her blue orbs. “We don’t know yet. Have you got any suggestions?”

“Call it Tiger!”

“Tiger, huh?”

“Tiger May-Taylor,” Roger announced. “I quite like the sound of it.”

Brianna rolled her eyes at him. “I don't think I’m calling my son Tiger.”

“He’s gonna be a tiger!” Roger smiled, turning to his daughter. “won’t he, princess?”

“Yes, yes, yes! Call it ‘Tiger’ mummy!”

Brianna said they still had long months to think and choose a name. She had agreed with Roger when he had suggested they asked their kids for possible names. 

Brianna had never wanted to tell her kids she had lost her baby. But she was three months pregnant, and they already knew about it. She told them the truth – that sometimes babies die for no apparent reason. Roger was still on tour and apparently travelling all of the US with that young girl Brianna didn’t want to know about. So when she was in hospital, she sat with them and told them the truth.

Neither Jimmy nor Emily asked questions. They said they wanted to have another sibling. Brianna was holding Rory in her arms when the kids asked about their father.

“Daddy’s on tour.” The guitarist said, feeling her heart breaking, and still unsure whether the drummer would ever come back or not. “Everything’s going to be fine. We’ll go home soon.”

Only Emily asked Brianna if this baby was going to die too. Such question broke Brianna and Roger’s heart – they were definitely not expecting it, but Brianna reasoned they needed to be honest with the kids.

“I don’t know, Em,” Brianna whispered. “Sometimes babies… babies die for no apparent reason.”

“Time to sleep, princess.” Roger intervened. He pressed a kiss to Emily’s forehead. “Mummy and Tiger need to sleep.”

“I’m really not calling this baby ‘Tiger’,” Brianna declared as soon as they were alone in their room. “So don’t start calling it Tiger.”

“What about _Roger Tiger May-Taylor_ , huh?”

Brianna frowned.

“What?”

“Let’s wait, Rog. Please.”

The drummer circled her wait with his strong drumming arms and pressed a kiss to her neck. “I’m sorry. I don’t wanna push you, love.”

“It’s okay.”

“I’m excited!”

“I’m excited too, but let’s just take it slowly, okay?”

“Alright.”

…

**_Early June 1985_ **

“Is… Brianna coming?”

“No, Jim,” Roger answered, taking a sit across their manager and next to Deacy. “She’s home, resting.”

“How’s the baby?”

“Baby’s okay. Bri just needs to rest.”

“So, why did you call us, Jim?” Deacy asked, sporting a new haircut and a perm Roger had said made him look fucking good, and something like a disco singer. “Freddie wants more royalties this time?”

Four years after Freddie’s departure and they were still angry. Since 1981, when Freddie decided to leave to Munich, Jim had accepted the challenge of trying to keep the band ‘together’ for as long as he could, release two greatest hit albums and keep on telling the press they were simply ‘taking a break to focus on their solo careers and their families’.

“No, Freddie hasn’t called.”

“His lawyers and accountants you mean.”

“Yes, John. Well,” Jim waited until his secretary left the tray with enough cups of tea for three on his desk and left. “they haven’t called. Bob Geldof did.”

“Live Aid?”

Jim nodded. “He wants you guys.”

“We’re not playing with him, Jim.”

Jim’s eyes were on Deacy. As far as the manager could tell, Deacy had his own thoughts when it came to Freddie’s departure. The only ones who voiced their views where Brianna and Roger.

“Have you contacted him?” Deacy asked, earning himself a glance from Roger. “He wants to play?”

“Paul says he’s working himself to the bone,” Jim quoted, rolling his eyes.

“The other day I heard Jimmy singing ‘Mr Bad Guy’.” He looked at Deacy. “It’s catchy.”

Deacy’s eyes were on all the golden discs hanging behind Jim Beach the moment he said he wasn’t playing again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So two more chapters to get to Live Aid! I'm just watching and rewatching Live Aid and BoRhap's recreation to get inspired :)


	9. The Mothership

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prenter goes on TV saying nasty things about our favourite couple and Freddie returns to reconnect with the mothership.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that episode in "Driven By You" when they go to Rockfield and Brianna tells Paul that she had Roger had gone away 'to fuck'? Well, almost ten years later, there's Paul Prenter telling the whole nation all about it and nasty lies.

**_Mid June, 1985_ **

When Mary left the house, Brianna felt something inside. It was a strange feeling, almost like a premonition. It sent chills down her spine. Brianna sat in the living room and while she rested her hands on her growing baby bump, her eyes were fixed on the spot Mary had occupied.

They had always been close – before, while and after Queen became big. While they toured different parts of the UK, Japan and some other countries, Mary became the female friend Brianna needed to confide in. The blonde’s comments and suggestions, together with Freddie’s, had helped Brianna become a more confident woman.

Mary had also confided in Brianna many things, like Freddie breaking up their engagement and his confession. The truth was that Brianna knew it all along but didn’t have the heart to tell Mary. The guitarist had also reasoned it wasn’t her place to tell her friend her boyfriend was seeing men while they toured.

Freddie’s sexuality was never a problem. It was never discussed, and no one ever minded seeing Freddie getting into his own room with a man.

And none was a snitch. So when Mary told Brianna – almost crying – that Freddie had broken up their engagement, Brianna felt sad and knew Mary knew that she had always known.

After Freddie’s departure to Germany, Mary was still coming to tea with her and Roger, was there when a new baby was born and had even seen Roger performing with his band with her boyfriend David, who was a sweet, caring man who was obvious loved Mary deeply.

“I just have this feeling” Mary said while sipping her tea. “I feel it here,” she pointed at her chest. “I think he’s in danger.”

“Have you called him?”

Mary looked away. “He never picks up. Paul says he’s working himself to the bone.”

Brianna said nothing.

“I know you’re upset. But you still love him – “

“I do.” Brianna cut her off. “He was my best friend. He was like a brother to me. Rog and I made him our first son’s godfather. He was an important person in my life, Mary.”

Mary said nothing for a moment.

“We were a family. And he broke us. He chose money over us. He said the most horrible things to John, Roger and me.” Brianna said, her eyes on the record left on the table, the one the kids were listening to the day before. “I don’t think I could ever forgive him.”

Mary left saying she was heading to the airport. She said that if she couldn’t talk to Freddie on the phone, she was going to him. She was determined Freddie was in danger and that she needed to talk to him.

Brianna had seen the papers – all of them featured every now and then pictures of Freddie partying in Munich, always surrounded by men, and with Paul Prenter next to him.

The guitarist thought she would never forget that morning when Freddie told them the worst.

And when he broke her heart.

_“And without me, you’d be Doctor Brianna May… author of a fascinating dissertation on the cosmos… that no one ever reads.”_

Her dropping out and not completing her PhD was another wound in Brianna’s life. She still felt she had disappointed her parents, after all the effort they had put to send her to the best schools, then pay for her education – all for nothing.

Some days she read her unfinished dissertation. She always got to the beginning of her conclusions, to where she had left it.

She knew she was one day going back to it.

…

**_A week later_ **

When Deacy called, Roger couldn’t believe it. The blond actually never believed a word Deacy said that morning until he turned on the TV and saw Paul Fucking Prenter telling the world the most disgusting things about Freddie.

_“His lovers were countless. Genuinely countless. He always had a new lover every night. Sometimes more than one.”_

_“Were they all men?”_

_“Naturally. Though Freddie had been involved with women too, before.”_

“Bastard!” Roger said loudly.

Brianna placed a hand on his thigh. “Rog, calm down –“

_“You claim Brianna May-Taylor, who recently married Queen’s drummer Roger Taylor was also involved with Mr Mercury.”_

Brianna stared at the TV in silence. Roger’s hands were clenching into tight fists.

Prenter nodded. _“With the whole band. The four of them were lovers. Why do ya think they kept her?”_ Paul shook his head. _“They used to have orgies, when they recorded Bohemian Rhapsody. Once I walked on Brianna and Roger having sex."_

_“But, Mrs May-Taylor was then married.“_

_“Yes, to Chris Mullen. And Roger Taylor took her to a place to have an abortion. None knew whose kid was it.”_

“I’m killing that motherfucker.” Roger turned off the TV. He stood up and pushed the TV set off the table. The noise startled Brianna, who remained on her place, both hands over her mouth, tears rolling down her face. “Son of a… Bri? Love?”

The guitarist said nothing.

“Bri, talk to me. Are you in pain?” Brianna’s eyes were on the TV set on the floor. Her eyes were red and she was heavily sobbing. “Love, please, talk to me. Are you in pain?”

She nodded. Roger called her doctor and took her hand and patiently waited, hoping they weren’t losing this child.

…

The following day, it was printed on every newspaper across the UK. Their phone wouldn’t stop ringing. Roger barely left her side. Miami kept on coming and going, bringing papers and more papers, legal documents and telling them what legal recourses they had.

While Miami was suggesting demanding Prenter, Roger insisted on destroying him – take all the money he was surely getting from all those newspapers. The drummer insisted on not stopping until Prenter was left with nothing and absolutely nothing.

Even Chris called. He was also suing Prenter since his name was mentioned on national TV. He even paid them a visit and said he wasn’t stopping either – and wished to see Prenter on jail, where he belonged.

“And what he said about you getting an abortion?” Chris said, angrily, while drinking tea with Brianna. "Christ. How can someone be this mean?"

They were alone in the garden. Brianna’s eyes were on the kids running from one place to another playing. Rory was calmly sitting on the grass, entertaining herself with her soft toys and teddy bears.

Roger was inside making some phone calls, instructing more and more lawyers to get their hands on Prenter and make him regret he was even born.

“Chris, I think you should know this.”

“Know what?”

“I did have a miscarriage back then,” Brianna began, “when we went to Rockfield.”

Her eyes were on his. Brianna watched Chris’ eyes staring at her for long seconds, and then she leaned on the table to take his hand.

Which he accepted.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, Bri.”

“I didn’t want to break you,” The guitarist whispered. Back in the house, Roger watched the scene in silence. “I should’ve told you. It was your baby too. But every time I tried to… I couldn’t. And then we started looking for a baby and…”

“And you left with Roger.”

Brianna said nothing.

“How far along were you?”

The guitarist pressed a hand to her stomach, feeling her baby kick. “A couple of weeks.”

“Were you alone?”

She shook her head. “Roger took me to see a doctor.”

Chris’ eyes fell on the children running in the garden. They didn’t speak for long minutes. Brianna hopped he wasn’t mad. Deep inside she knew Chris was surely leaving, not talking to her any more, and that he was also hating her for not telling him about that baby she lost nearly ten years ago.

However, Chris squeezed her hand.

“It’s a lot to take in.” Chris whispered.

“I’m so sorry, Chris.”

“It’s okay, Bri. I’m sorry I wasn’t there with you.” The lawyer watched Roger heading to where they were sitting together. “I guess we were never destined to be parents together.”

When the drummer joined then, Chris revealed his wife was pregnant and that they were expecting their second child – a girl. Roger commented he hoped they had a boy this time.

Chris and Brianna’s eyes met. The lawyer gave her a sincere smile, one that Brianna used to love when they were together. She returned that smile and asked him to stay for dinner. Roger also insisted, but Chris said he needed to get back home and check on his wife and his son.

From the window, Roger watched Chris and Brianna hugging, and remembered those moments at the airport, when they were embarking on yet another tour and Brianna had to say good bye to her husband. She always cried. And there was himself, trying to make her laugh by telling her stupid jokes or asking her stupid questions about planets and those things she knew so much about.

“I’m happy you’re friends.” Roger commented later.

Brianna kissed her husband’s cheek. “Me too.”

…

A week later, Jim called saying there was someone who wished to see him and Brianna.

“Is Deacy going?”

_“Yes, John’s coming.”_

“Alright.”

Jim made a pause. _“So… you and Brianna are coming?”_

“Yeah.”

_“Roger –“_

“I’ll behave.”

_“How’s she?”_

“Bri’s fine. Resting.”

_“How’s the baby?”_

“Baby’s good. It’s a boy. Jimmy’s thrilled,” Roger grinned. “the girls said they wanted another sister.”

_“Chris called. We have contacted Prenter’s lawyer.”_

“Excellent. Don’t stop until he fucking apologises.”

_“We won’t.”_

“Good.” Roger watched from his spot on the window Brianna making her way inside with Jimmy, Emily and Rory. They were carrying a basket each with flowers and some vegetables Brianna had planted. “Gotta go. See you, Jim.”

As soon as they were in, the drummer ran to them and took the basket of Emily and Jimmy’s hands. They were not heavy. He had heard them arguing with Brianna, telling her she shouldn’t be carrying anything because of the baby.

“Smell these flowers, daddy,” Emily said, taking a bunch of white roses into her hands. “They smell nice!”

“Nice!” Repeated Rory, who was learning more and more words with the passing of time. “Nice flowers!”

Roger did as he was told and smiled to his daughters. “They smell nice indeed.”

“Jimmy, take these tomatoes to the kitchen.”

“Yes, mum.”

As soon as they were alone, Brianna sat down and took a sip of the lemonade one of the ladies helping her with the house had made for her and the kids. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah.”

“Who was on the phone?”

“Jim.” Roger said casually. “Just called to say he and Chris got Prenter’s lawyer.”

“Oh.”

“How’s my Tiger?”

The name made Brianna roll her eyes. She smiled to him as soon as she felt his warm hands on her baby bump. Five months pregnant and her stomach already looked huge. It had made them believe there might be more than one baby, but soon they were assured it was only one and that it was a boy.

Her doctors had told them the baby was bigger than average but very healthy. Brianna was also declared healthy enough to be able to carry the baby full term and not to worry about anything.

The day Prenter told the entire nation such lies – that she was ‘the band’s whore’, that she had an abortion, and many more things she didn’t want to know, she was admitted into hospital after feeling her baby bump as hard as a rock and losing some blood.

The doctors had told the May-Taylors it was due to shock, and that she was to take things easy, be careful, not to practice unnecessary exercise, eat healthy food and rest for some hours every day.

Because of this, Roger was not telling Brianna Freddie was back in England and that he wanted to meet them to talk and, as Jim had quoted, ‘reconnect with the mothership’.

Mothership my balls, Roger had told Jim on the phone while watching Brianna and the kids in the garden. The drummer was meeting with Freddie because Deacy was going to.

He wasn’t going to forgive him all the things he had said to Brianna. The drummer wanted to know why Prenter came up with such lies and hurtful things on national television and on the papers and to definitely break up the band.

“I’m not going on TV promoting our songs so he can get the best slice of our royalties, Jim. I’m tired of being his fucking employee.” Roger had told Miami.

“We should go on holidays.”

“I can’t travel long distances, Rog.”

“We could just go somewhere near.”

Brianna looked at him and smiled. She knew when Roger lied or when he was hiding things from her. She had heard on the radio and watched the news and read the papers. The guitarist was well aware Freddie was back in England and that surely he had called Jim and now he wanted to see them.

She knew Roger was trying to protect her. “Yes. Sounds nice.”

“You okay?”

“Yes, fine.”

…

“So, what do we say?”

John frowned and looked at him. “Are you asking me?”

“Yeah.”

“Dunno.”

“Oh, c’mon, Deacs,” Roger pulled over and turned to his friend. “you’re with me, aren’t you?”

“You’re punching him, aren’t you?”

“Of course.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Wanna bet?”

“You’ve got nothing that I could possibly want.”

“I’ll make you Tiger’s godfather.”

“I already am,” Deacy declared with a smile.

“Ugh, I told Bri not to tell you yet.”

“So, we’re just going in there and you’re punching him.”

“Once. Well, maybe a few times.”

Deacy rolled his eyes and made his way out the car.

…

“Ah, there they are. Hello, boys.”

Freddie tensed on his place. He had arrived a bit early. On his way to Miami’s office, he was greeted by many people. All around, he saw pictures of Queen on the covers of magazines and newspapers. There were all golden discs hanging behind Jim.

The lawyer turned manager showed him some books with numbers and numbers and more numbers while they waited for Brianna, Roger and Deacy.

Freddie wanted to tell him he didn’t want to check out numbers – that he was there to see his bandmates, his siblings – his family. He had even bought flowers for Brianna. Had some present for Jimmy and that little girl the singer knew Brianna and Roger had welcomed a few years ago and for Deacy's kids.

It wasn’t going to be easy, but inside his mind, Freddie saw himself reunited with them in a few hours, being the family they used to be.

Little did Freddie know that as soon as John and Roger were inside the same office as him, they barely said hello to him.

“Where’s Bri?”

That’s the first thing Freddie said. The singer earned himself a glare from Roger and silence. Neither him nor Deacy said a word. When Freddie turned to Miami, the manager looked down.

“If anybody wants any tea, coffee, bladed weapons… just ask.”

Freddie couldn’t believe how different they were. Deacy was sporting a new hair colour and a perm and god, he looked so good. He noticed the bassist had a few lines around his eyes as well as Roger, who had some lines on his forehead too, and whose hairstyle had changed a lot.

Roger’s hair was blonder, now it looked slightly natural and his hair was kind of messy. Shorter than it used to be. He was wearing a fashionable leather jacket and those wayfarer sunglasses that were trendy in the UK.

“So, who wants to go first?”

“I’ll start.” Freddie declared and felt Deacy and Roger’s angry eyes on him. “I’ve been hideous. I know that… and I deserve your fury. I’ve been conceited, selfish… well, and asshole, basically.”

“Fuck you were.”

“Look, Rog – I’m happy to strip off my shirt and flagellate myself before you. Or rather, I could ask you a simple question.”

Roger shrugged. “I’m good with the flagellation.”

“What’s it gonna take for you all to forgive me?”

“Is that what you want Freddie?” Deacy asked. “We forgive you. Can we go now?”

“No.”

“No?” Roger asked.

“No.”

“I’m not angry because of the money,” The drummer began. “I’m _furious_ because we were friends. We were a family, Fred. I got your back many times and you betrayed us. You could've said 'you know, I wanna go solo, take a break.' And we would've understood."

"I'm sorry."

"I forgive you. But what I'll never forgive is what you said to my wife."

Freddie, whose eyes so far had always been on the drummer, looked down. “I want to apologise to her.“

“Don’t ever come near her.” Roger said between clenched teeth. His hands were two tight fists and for a moment, Deacy feared he might have to get in the middle between them before they even bean fighting. 

“Rog –“

“Don’t you fucking dare come near her,” Roger repeated angrily. “You heard me? Don’t you fucking dare because I swear I’ll kill you, Fred.”

The drummer stood and left.

There was a long silence until Deacy turned to Freddie. “Fancy a beer? There's a new pub just round he corner.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely love Deacy :) 
> 
> Happy Christmas! xx


	10. Forgive me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie finally reunites with Brianna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! May this year bring you all the happiness in the world!

**_Late June, 1985_ **

He was standing there, at her door. Brianna’s eyes landed on his and there he was.

There was Freddie Mercury standing at her door.

He hadn’t changed a bit. There were only a few marks around his eyes, but Freddie hadn’t changed at all. The singer was still sporting his trademark moustache.

When Brianna opened the door, he quickly pulled his sunglasses off and placed them on the breast pocket of his leather jacket.

“Hello Bri.”

Brianna stood there, in silence, for seconds, though for Freddie, it felt like an eternity. He didn’t know whether Brianna was slapping him – he knew he deserved that and more – or slamming the door on his face, or calling Roger to beat the shit out of him. Roger beating the shit out of him seemed likely, but Deacy had promised him he was making himself sure the drummer wasn’t at home so he could talk to Brianna.

Freddie had never seen Roger so pissed, so angry and so serious before. The singer knew Roger meant those words.

_Don’t you fucking dare come near her. You heard me? Don’t you fucking dare because I swear I’ll kill you, Fred._

Freddie knew how protective Roger was. He had tried investigating on his own and it was a complete surprise to know Roger and Brianna had welcomed a third kid – he had only known of Jimmy and Emily but Rory was a complete surprise. How they had managed to keep it from the press, Freddie didn’t know.

While doing his own research, Freddie couldn’t find out much. There were a few pictures of Roger and Brianna together and none with the children. He had heard they had got married and according to Deacy, it was an extremely private wedding, with only their closest family members and some friends.

Freddie knew for sure the drummer was not at home, so the option of Roger hitting him was discarded.

Yet, Brianna was still staring at him.

He looked at her with inviting eyes – friendly eyes. He noticed she hadn’t changed. Time passes by to all mortals – and he remembered the lines on Roger’s face, his receding hairline and his little belly. Brianna, who Freddie knew was nearing her forties – looked as young as he remembered her.

Her hair was still the same, though a bit shorter, near her shoulders and she had a little fringe – some curls falling on her forehead. Her face was rounder and her cheeks fuller, and he remembered what Deacy had told him: Bri was pregnant.

She was wearing a dress, long above her knees and flat shoes – something Freddie knew she had always hated but she looked absolutely beautiful. It definitely showed her long legs and accentuated her baby bump. Freddie knew little about pregnancy but to him, Brianna definitely looked as if she was about to give birth any time soon. Her belly was huge and yet she was so thin.

There was a little girl with bright blue eyes and wild blonde curls. “Mummy!” She chirped, and clung to Brianna’s long legs. “Mummy, hungy, hungy, hungy!”

Freddie wanted to kneel down and take the little girl in his arms. That girl was Roger, definitely Roger with those big blue eyes and those blonde locks and Freddie felt the intense need to hold the girl in his arms.

That was the moment he felt Brianna’s arms around his neck.

“I’m so sorry, Bri. Please, forgive me.”

She said nothing for long seconds, almost minutes. Instead, she sobbed heavily in his arms, and Freddie couldn’t help but cry too.

…

It was Rory’s little hands on her legs which brought Brianna back to reality. Her youngest was patting the back of her legs, asking her to prepare her lunch and when Brianna opened her eyes, Freddie was crying too.

She didn’t know what to say.

“Who’s this little butterfly?”

The little girl hid behind Brianna’s legs. The guitarist took her in her arms and placed her on her hip carefully to avoid her belly. “This is Rory.”

“Beautiful like her parents. May I come in?”

Brianna was still speechless. She moved aside to let the singer in. As soon as she closed the door, she led the way to the living room and asked one of the ladies helping her with the house to prepare lunch for Rory and tea for her guest.

“So, how you been, Bri?”

Brianna bit her lip. “Fine. Good. Busy. The kids keep me busy.”

The singer took a frame from off the little table. It was a picture of the whole family. Roger and Brianna were sitting together. Jimmy was standing behind them, with one arm around her father’s shoulders and another on Brianna’s. Emily was sitting on Brianna’s lap while Rory was on Roger’s. They were all smiling.

Freddie saw Roger’s hand on top of Brianna. They looked so in love. So complete.

“You’ve got a beautiful family.”

“Why you left, Freddie?”

Freddie said nothing and waited until the lady left the cups with tea and milk and some sugar on the table. Brianna asked her to take and feed Rory and keep her busy for a while.

“I don’t know.”

“You needn’t leave, Fred.” Brianna began, a hand resting on her prominent baby bump. “If you wanted to go solo, you could’ve said it –“

“Roger said the same.”

Brianna smiled a bit. “I know you two and Deacy met.”

“Why didn’t you come?”

“Rog didn’t tell me.”

“But you knew.”

She nodded. “I can tell when he keeps things from me.”

They fell into silence. Brianna sipped some tea, while Freddie’s eyes scanned the multiple framed pictures on the wall opposite him.

“I’ve missed so many years,” Freddie began. “so many things. The birth of your babies. Deacy’s. So many concerts and tours. So many things and now I’ve got _so little time_.”

Brianna frowned.

“I’m sorry for the things I said. I was deceived by Paul. But that’s not an excuse. The things that happened were my own. Not Paul’s.” Freddie’s eyes fell on Brianna. “All I’m asking you is just one more show.”

“Live Aid?”

Freddie nodded. “All I know is that if we wake up the day after this concert and we didn’t do our part… we’re going to regret it till the day we die.” He paused and looked down. “Please.”

Brianna, who had been listening intently, knew how important Live Aid was to Freddie. This was not only about the famine in Ethiopia. This was about giving Africa a chance to be seen and heard. Freddie came from Africa and Brianna remembered how many donations he had sent to various causes in the continent.

“And then we can break up the band.” Freddie added, before Brianna could say anything.

“Fred –“

“Split everything four ways evenly.”

“Fred.”

“Yes, dear?”

“Remember when I told you about Rog and I?” Freddie nodded. “You told me that I should embrace what makes me happy.”

“Yeah.”

“This is what makes me happy. Rog, the kids – Jimmy, Emily, Rory… this baby.”

Freddie felt tears in his eyes.

“I love being a wife and a mother,” Brianna gave the singer a little smile. “I’ve embraced this life and this is what makes me the happiest – looking after my family. Cook for Rog. Play with the kids.” The guitarist ran a hand up and down her growing belly. “I’m also a musician who hasn’t played the guitar since that morning when you left. Rog hasn’t played the drums either.”

Freddie blinked and a tear rolled down his face.

“I stopped being who I was when you left.”

“I’m sorry.”

“But I’m ready to go back.” She smiled. She leaned forwards, as much as she could and took Freddie’s hand. “Because apart from my family, Rog, Deacy and you – Queen makes me happy. You’re my best friend, Freddie. My brother. And I love you.”

“Can I hug you?”

Brianna nodded with a smile and soon felt Freddie’s warm embrace. She closed her eyes but she didn’t cry this time. She inhaled Freddie’s scent and felt the energy pumping through her veins. Then, she gasped when she felt her baby boy kicking the hardest inside her belly.

“You’ve got yourself quite a tiger in there,” Freddie joked. “A little drummer, dear.”

Brianna laughed. “Rog wants to call him Roger Tiger.”

“He’s going to be a drummer, certainly.” Freddie smiled to his friend. “Why don’t you call him Rufus Tiger?”

Brianna smiled and received Rory in her arms the moment the little girl came in running. Being the most careful, Rory sat on her mother’s lap and leaned on to rest her head against her mother’s baby bump.

“I’ll talk to Rog.”

“He made it quite clear he wants to beat the shit out of me.”

“Leave him to me,” Brianna smiled even more. “I’ll call Jim. See if he can pull some strings for us.”

“Done it. Bob’s squeezed us into the official line up.”

“You’ve got it all covered.”

Freddie batted his eyelashes and smiled. “Can you play?”

“Of course. I’ve played while pregnant before.”

“Okay.”

“We should start rehearsing soon.”

…

Deacy and Freddie were chatting the moment Brianna and Roger made their way into their rehearsing space. They were holding hands. Brianna smiled to them, while Roger shook hands with Deacy.

“I’m fucking killing you, Deacs.”

“Looking forward to it,” Deacy smiled at a very confused Brianna. “I asked him to come home and took him to a place to see some cars.”

It explained why Roger wasn’t home when Freddie visited.

Freddie cleared his throat awkwardly and extended his hand to the drummer. “Rog.”

“Roger didn't take off his shades, but looked at Freddie's extended hand for seconds before taking it. "Fred.”

Brianna squeezed Roger's hand softly and then turned to their manager. "Jim?"

Jim joined the circle. “Every ticket’s already sold. 100,000 people at Wembley. Same in JFK stadium in Philadelphia. A global audience around the world of 150 countries. 13 satellites.” He paused and looked at the four members of Queen. “The Olympics only had three.”

“We haven’t played together in years,” Roger began, finally pulling his shades. “It’s kinda suicide to play again for the first time in front of millions.”

Brianna bit her lip and raised an eyebrow. “Try over 1.5 billion.” Roger looked at her. "We're dinosaurs. I'll go out there and people will go 'Where's Madonna?'"

"You're hotter than Madonna."

The guitarist rolled her eyes at her husband. "I look like a whale."

"A sexy whale."

"We're not bad for four ageing queens," Freddie added, earning himself smiles from Deacy and Brianna, and a glare from Roger. He turned to Jim. "Who else are in?"

"Jagger, Bowie, Elton, McCartney, The Who, Led Zeppelin, Phil Collins, REO Speedwagon, Bob Dylan..."

Deacy chuckled. "Certainly good company."

"It's a twenty-minute set. Everyone gets the same," Jim stopped to look at them. "Anybody who's anybody is doing this concert."
    
    
        
    
        
    
    

No one said anything for a moment, until Roger looked at Deacy and Brianna. The two of them, together with Jim, walked away and headed to where their instruments had been placed. 

“Bri talked to me. Said she forgave you.” Freddie nodded. “You’ve got no idea what you did to her.”

“I know.”

“But she wants this as much as I do,” Roger confessed. “I’m proud of my band. But this is Queen.”

Freddie said nothing.

“So I’ve got some conditions.”

“Tell me.”

“We have some problems with the people around you.”

“Paul’s out.”

“I know. Jim and Chris are chasing him.”

“What else?”

“From now on, every song written by me, you, Deacy or Bri – music, lyrics – it’s by Queen. Not just one of us. It’s by Queen.” Freddie nodded. “And all the money, all the credit, split four ways – evenly.”

“Okay.”

“Understood?”

“Consider it done.”

“Good,” Roger lit a cigarette.

“I’m sorry, Rog.”

“You were right. Without you I’d have end up being a fucking dentist playing drums on pubs during the weekends.” The drummer’s blue orbs turned to Freddie. “But Bri would’ve still being Brianna May, the best guitarist. With or without you.”

Freddie looked down.

“That hurt, man.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

They were silent for some time. Freddie felt that despite the fact they were performing together again, Roger was maybe in his lifetime – or whatever he still had left – never going to forgive him.

It was awkward. Freddie came to realise that maybe never again they would be those friends they used to be, almost like brothers. Behind, after taking those four million dollars and leaving the band, behind Freddie left those memories of them working together at Kensington Market, making music, having a good time.

“It’d be hypocritical of me not to forgive you for what you did to Bri when I hurt her myself.” Roger said, his blue orbs on Brianna, Brianna who had discarded her white clogs and was sitting on the floor with Deacy. Freddie said nothing. “You must’ve heard.”

“I did.”

“I don’t think she can play, Fred.”

“If it is because of the baby, she’d played while pregnant before.”

“We lost a baby last year.”

“She didn’t tell me. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Doctors told us to be careful.” Roger whispered while Brianna and Deacy were walking towards them. “I don’t want to lose them.”

Brianna took Roger’s hand and linked her fingers with his. “So, everything settled then?”

“Yeah.”

“Shall we?” Deacy asked. “We’d better start working on the songs we’re playing.”

The drummer brought a chair and Brianna’s Red Special. She smiled at him the moment he helped her with the strap and placed her guitar on top of her thigh, setting it carefully against her belly.

He bent down to kiss her and handed her her sixpence.

“Ready, love?”

“Ready.”

Roger sat behind his drums. Deacy took his bass. Freddie his mic and then they began playing together again after more than four years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Live Aid begins next chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and let me know your thoughts (subtext: feel free to drop a comment!)


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